hi everyone
it me taylor
i be feling sad
i not sure why
my hart jus hurts
i fink it cuz i had nitemares
about my grandad
hes dead now
and i miss him
i wanted to tok to dr barry yeserday
but ther wasnt time
that maked me sad to
i lik dr barry
shes alwas nise to me
actuly shes nise to all us kids alwas
i hav a buny rabit that i snugle wif
her nam is nibbles
shes soft and has long ears
later today mabe i wil make a video
and i can post it here
if people want to see me and my buny rabit
wat do you fink
is dat a gud idea
I will greet this day with love in my heart. And how will I do this? Henceforth will I look on all things with love and be born again. I will love the sun for it warms my bones; yet I will love the rain for it cleanses my spirit. I will love the light for it shows me the way; yet I will love the darkness for it shows me the stars. I will welcome happiness as it enlarges my heart; yet I will endure sadness for it opens my soul. I will acknowledge rewards for they are my due; yet I will welcome obstacles for they are my challenge.
Og Mandino
So my beloved partner is going through a really rough time right now. I am very stressed out and worried about her. Thought I’d write here to let it out.
Each day I miss you
Each hour and minute
Our long conversations
Our text messages
Long emails
That say everything and nothing
But we didnt care what they said
We were just happy to hear from one another
And now I can hardly talk to you
10 or 15 minutes max
And I want to help you but I cant
Oh how I wish I could do something
Anything to take this tough time away
If I could I would move mountains for you
I would gladly switch places
But I know thats not what you’d want for me
Be strong, be brave
This too shall pass
And soon we will be back to normal
Our normal
Our normal that is sometimes crazy
But I always loved the crazy bits
Its what made us unique
I feel dead on the inside. Numb. Empty. Sad and weary. Wish I could cry. Think a good cry is what I badly need. The tears wont come though think they’re stuck and cant get out.
So I’ve posted on our blog a few times, that our grandad was very ill. It was kidney failure he had.
He died last Sunday. At 1:25 in the afternoon. It was a really peaceful death, but the lead up to it was awfully hard on him. The week before he died he was extremely sick. The toxins from his kidneys went into his brain. He had severe agitation, confusion, etc. It was really awful to watch him go through that.
On Friday morning he got a morphine pump on…and that was the beginning of the end. He slipped into a coma then and only woke up for brief periods, where his eyes would flicker open and he make little sounds. We were all there when he passed, all of his six kids, and 10 grandkids. He died smiling.
The funeral was yesterday. It was so very sad. But it was also so beautiful. He got cremated. That was his wish. The service was beautiful, with lots of singing, readings, my aunt spoke about him, and we did the prayers of the faithful. I almost fell apart as I read them but somehow I held it together.
Its been a really emotional few days. To be honest I am glad its all over. It has really taken an emotional toll on us. I know my grandad is happy now and he isnt suffering any longer. Its a relief for him really. He had such a fear of dying, however he fought such a courageous and brave battle. He inspires me to be positive or try to be positive about life and keep fighting and battling on even when I dont want to.
Living life with dissociative identity disorder and complex PTSD
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