I’d like some feedback from my readers. Some of the younger and teen alters wanted to post on our blog…more than they have been doing, as its been a while since any of them did.
Are people interested in hearing from the alters? Some of them were going to post bios, as well as their thoughts on stuff. So it wouldnt just be me doing the posting.
What are your thoughts>?
Some of them are scared to try this in case they’ll be misunderstood or made fun of.
Can people email me with your feedback?
You’ll find my email address on my contact page on this site.
So as most of my readers know, I have dissociative identity disorder. Initially I was diagnosed with it in 2001. My then psychiatrist diagnosed me initially, along with the therapist I was seeing back then. In fact the therapist I was seeing is the one who first knew something was very wrong. She’d been recieving emails from the alters, this was before any of them even started coming out in our sessions. She did talk to a few of the child alters too. She is the one who said we needed to be assessed for a dissociative disorder. When we were assessed in 2001 she came with us to the assessment. After we were diagnosed our then psychiatrist left shortly after diagnosing us. We started with a new, male psychiatrist. For years we saw him and he did know but he never really treated the did just medicated us and sent us to anxiety management, relaxation group, got us in with a community psychiatric nurse, etc. Then in Marchh 2005 during one of our appointments I came out to him, I told him I wasnt Shirley that it was actually me Carol anne. After that he was great, and made a point of getting to know the insiders, and eventually, when we were hospitalised in 2006 he tried to make the nurses in the hospital accept our did and treat us as separate people. Unfortunately that didnt go very well though. Mostly the nurses in the hospital have a hard time accepting the did label. That psychiatrist left in 2007 and we started with a female psychiatrist. I should also say that while we were under the male psychiatrist he had looked into getting specialist treatment for us for our did. He looked into a few inpatient hospitals in the UK, but none would take us due to our other disability of blindness. When we started with the female psychiatrist in 2007, we also started with a new therapist. We saw her for four and a half years. In a lot of ways she was bad for us, but she also did a lot of positive things for us, including getting us some funding to have a formal diagnosis done by did experts. The did experts came over to diagnose us in December 2010. We spent a day being assessed, doing interviews, and filling out questionaires. We did the structured clinical interview for dissociative disorders too. From all the interviews and questionaires, a report was made up and we were diagnosed with did. We stopped seeing the therapist who helped us get the did diagnosis in 2011. It was purely our decision to stop seeing her, she had no boundaries, the relationship had become unhealthy, and we were not progressing in therapy. We started seeing Eileen who is our current therapist in 2012. And we’ve been with her ever since. She has worked as a psychiatric nurse for 27 years, is trained in EMDR, has her bachelors in counselling, and a masters in treating trauma survivors. So she is very well trained. We’re still seeing her to this day. We also started with Dr Barry our current psychiatrist in 2013, after the last one left to go to Australia. Dr Barry is an amazing psychiatrist, she is compassionate, a great listener, great at her job, warm, kind, caring, intelligent, shows concern, empathy, is emotionnally always available, and most importantly is real. She treats all of us not just our host. She will talk to any of us about absolutely anything. She is not afraid to show her emotions either which I like. So that is how we were diagnosed with did, in a nutshell.
I recently bought the book switching time. Its a book about a woman who has dissociative identity disorder. Its written by her therapist that treated her.
I did not like the book at all. It was way too graphic for my liking. There was just way to much talk about abuse, on more than one occasion the abuse was talked about in a blow by blow account of what happened, with every detail described. I really think there is no need to put that much descriptive stuff about abuse into any book.
Karen, the woman in the book, went into therapy not knowing she had did. Unfortunately I did not finish the book so I cant tell you how it ended. I gave up after 10 chapters. Like I just said, too much graphic detail for my liking. I think though the therapist worked towards integration and eventually all of her alters were integrated.
Just make sure if you do decide to read the book, that your in a strong frame of mind. The book is available in paperback, on kindle, and on audible.
Day Twelve: What’s the worst thing you’ve woken up to finding out your alter’s done? What’s the best?
One time I woke up lying in a pool of vomit. One of my young insiders whose 12 had overdosed on all of my meds. We’ve had more than one overdose but this one was particularly bad. I remember crawling to the bathroom and trying to pull myself up to the toilet bowl to puke. It was awful. I remember trying to grab the phone to call my mom for her to come and help me. I was lucky. That overdose landed us in the medical ward for a week.
The best thing that has ever happened to us by an insider was when my child parts got to play with their friends in another did system as my partner is multiple also. When we visited them in America they all got to hang out. The teens and adults did too, but the expressions and ways that it impacted on the child insiders was amazing to watch. They were in awe. It was like they were free to be themselves without anyone impinging on them. It was so lovely.
Day Eleven: How much control do you have over switches? Do you know of any specific things which cause specific alters to front?
Well it depends. Sometimes, on a good day the control is good. We can stop a switch mid way, or if things are generally good, we can function all day as the adult part, or in an adult part I should say. Only giving time which we set out for the kids. But on the worst days, our control is nill, zero. We switch easily and we call it roladexing where its like the revolving door scenario, we constantly go in and out and all over a creation. There are a few things which cause certain insiders to front. For example rap music causes darina whose six to come out, because she loves it. The sight of blood causes taylor whose six to pop out, as she often has hallucinations of blood. It really just depends. There are many more things that will cause a certain insider to front.