Tag Archives: dying

Book review-The girl in the mirror

So I just finished another great book by Cathy Glass. Its called the girl in the mirror. This is a novel, not a foster care memoir. It was interesting to read a novel of Cathys. I must say I didn’t find the novel as good as all of her foster care memoirs, but I did like it and I would still recommend it. The book went a little bit more slowly though and I did not find it to be a page turner.

The book is about Mandy, a 20 something who is an artist. She’s taken a career break for a year to paint more, but she seems to be having trouble painting anything. At the beginning of the book her grandpa falls ill, and her father asks her if she wants to go visit him. She goes, and ends up staying to nurse him. He’s staying with her aunt and uncle, whom she used to visit as a child regularly, but 10 years ago her parents stopped her from visiting and she doesn’t remember why. When she arrives at the house she starts having flashbacks, weird thoughts, images, etc. She cant figure out why she’s having the memories. A lot of the book focuses on her sick grandpa, and towards the end he dies, but the majority of the chapters focus on him, his illness, and on the care he is receiving from the family. In the end Mandy does remember, and when she does, she remembers vividly. She remembers being almost raped, and she thinks its her uncle that raped her. But it wasn’t, it was his brother. Before she remembers, she asks her gran, and the local shopkeeper to tell her why it is her parents and aunt and uncle stopped talking, and why it was her visits to them stopped when she was 13. But they keep telling her she’ll have to ask her father. After she remembers, she becomes very depressed, and after that, she decides to confront her uncles brother, her abuser. She searches him out, and then goes to visit him. But it turns out he’s dead. It turns out he abused not only her but his own daughter, and another friend of his daughters too. Mandy is really upset to find this out. In the end of the book she moves in with her boyfriend, whose name is Adam, and tells him of what happened to her as a child. All through the story she has mixed up feelings about touch, about adam, and she keeps giving him the cold shoulder. But he stays with her and when she tells him he’s shocked and saddened.

I did like the book despite the slowness of it. It didn’t build until near the middle of the story. But I still think it was good, I’d still recommend it to people. I do think though that Cathy is best writing memoirs and not as good at writing novels.

Life goes on

So this morning I’ll be very busy. My PA is coming in a half hour. As usual I have a lot of housework for her to do. But I also need to take Nitro to the vet, and do some grocery shopping…so the time will fly by I am sure. Nitro has ear mites, again, plus he needs to have his anal glands expressed. On thursday of this week his trainer Nathalie came to visit and we did some familiarisation around the college where I’ll be starting in September. We were shown all the classrooms I’ll use, the lunch area, toilets etc and then Nathalie did some training with us which went really well. Its a pretty small college and so it didnt take long at all to do the training. Nitro was his usual awesome self and I was so very proud of him. After the training was finished, we went back to the guide dog centre to have a coffee. Nathalie had said that we’d get one of the kennel staff to look at Nitros ears because he’d been shaking a lot. So that is what we did. Laura from kennels took him, cleaned out his ears, and then brought him back to me. When she came back she said it looked like his anal glands were full. I didnt even know that! So that afternoon I made an appointment for him to see the vet. I have him on a diet too and he’s losing weight on it so I am glad. He went from 38.7 KG to 37.3 KG is two weeks. And this week after the second two weeks he’s down another kilo. I just reduced his food intake and didnt give him so much treats. And it seems to be working. I dont really have any other weekend plans. Tomorrow my mom and aunts are going to my grandads home town to bury the remainder of his ashes. My sisters driving them, and I could have went. But I chose not to do that. I dont really know my grandads family and I feel like I’d like to grieve in my own way. I can still say a prayer tomorrow when I know they’ll be burying the ashes. I’d rather say goodbye in my own way. Its been almost 3 months since he passed away. On 26th July it will be 3 months. How time flies. The grief is still pretty raw. I still miss him a lot.

Death of a family member

So I’ve posted on our blog a few times, that our grandad was very ill. It was kidney failure he had.
He died last Sunday. At 1:25 in the afternoon. It was a really peaceful death, but the lead up to it was awfully hard on him. The week before he died he was extremely sick. The toxins from his kidneys went into his brain. He had severe agitation, confusion, etc. It was really awful to watch him go through that.
On Friday morning he got a morphine pump on…and that was the beginning of the end. He slipped into a coma then and only woke up for brief periods, where his eyes would flicker open and he make little sounds. We were all there when he passed, all of his six kids, and 10 grandkids. He died smiling.
The funeral was yesterday. It was so very sad. But it was also so beautiful. He got cremated. That was his wish. The service was beautiful, with lots of singing, readings, my aunt spoke about him, and we did the prayers of the faithful. I almost fell apart as I read them but somehow I held it together.
Its been a really emotional few days. To be honest I am glad its all over. It has really taken an emotional toll on us. I know my grandad is happy now and he isnt suffering any longer. Its a relief for him really. He had such a fear of dying, however he fought such a courageous and brave battle. He inspires me to be positive or try to be positive about life and keep fighting and battling on even when I dont want to.