no therapy, its so disapppointing

hi its me allie. i’m bummed. we didnt go to therapy today. that makes me sad. carol anne was feeling tired, and miserable so she decided to not go. if i made the decisions around here, i would have went. now we dont get to see eileen for 10 whole days. i just texted her a few minutes ago to tell her that i miss her and it feels like a long time, the 10 days. it feels like forever! she hasnt replied yet, but i know she will when she can. i dont like it when the bigs decide stuff sometimes. we werent sick today as in vomiting, or like real sick you know so we couldnt move, so i think we should have gone. i think the tiredness would have gone away if we just made ourselves go. oh well. its too late now i guess. im just mad and kinda sad that we never had our therapy session today.
allie age 9

feelins feelins

its me alicia. if you dont know i am 9. i feel so crummy tonight. my head hurts. my heart hurts. everywhere just hurts. and i dont have anyone to talk to about it. eileen is on holidays. i cant text dr barry. i dont think i should bother our friends. i feel so lonely and alone. why did eileen have to go on vacation? its not fair! i feel like she left us and just went and i feel like she’ll never come back. she did say she’d be back. she doesnt lie well she hasnt ever lied to me. its so hard waiting. she told me to text her a few days before our therapy session, to remind her to charge up her digital recorder so she can read us the story she promised to read to us. i am so looking forward to her reading to us. that will be fun. and special. is it ok for me to feel special? loved? cared for? because that is how i will feel when she reads to us. like someone loves and cares about me. its hard being a kid. feelings suck. when you dont really understand grown up things, when you want things and cant have them, when your hurting and there is nobody to tell, it all just sucks.
alicia age 9

Taylors audioboom that she recorded earlier this evening

Taylors recording saying hey to everyoneTaylor made this recording earlier tonight. She wanted to share it here. Enjoy.

Taylor shows our bunny and winnie the pooh`

Taylor is one of our alters and she is six. This is her video where she shows our stuffed bunny rabbit and winnie the pooh.

from alicia

its me alicia. for anyone who might not know i’m 9. i havent written in a while so thought tonight i would.
i am feeling kinda lonely. lonliness really sucks. i wish i had someone to talk to and tell all my worries to right now. but probably everyones in bed. its 5 AM after all.
my brain hurts. its hurting from thinking too much. i think and think until my brains bout ready to explode. thats not good huh?
i wanna go to the movies soon. we havent been in a while. our pa said she’d go with us outside of work hours. that was nice of her and it will be fun.
i wonder what we’ll talk to dr barry today about. i’d like to talk to her if there is time. im not sure though there will be time for me to just talk to her. i hope there will though.
alicia