Well, when we saw dr Barry yesterday, it ended up that she did not have the report done for the police. She hadn’t had any time over the last week to sit down and do it.
Thats ok though. It can wait.
I talked to her about our sleep and about the weekend that just passed. I ended up explaining to her more about the ritual date that just passed. She was really understanding about it and she really listened and took everything I told her on board.
It wasn’t a really long appointment like some of my others have been. I’d say I was in there for 25 minutes or so. I was glad as I wasn’t really able for a really intense appointment. I was too exhausted and I think she could see that.
Alicia also talked to her yesterday. She gave her a Christmas card which some of us had signed. I think maybe 12 of us signed it for her. Dr Barry loved it and thanked her for it. Alicia was so happy to give her the card. I think it made her day.
We don’t see her again until January 5th. So we have a two week break. By Jan fifth I am sure we’ll have loads to talk to her about, and maybe she’ll have that report done by then, too.
Well went to see Dr Barry. It went really well. I had a long wait though. I waited for like 2 hours. Ug I was tired but waiting made me even more tired. It was chaotic in the clinic today. But it was a good appointment.
Mostly we discussed the police and the report that Dr Barrys writing for them. She said she has a theory on why they might be asking if we have an intelectual disability. Her theory is this. She was thinking that when the police spoke to us back in April, and during our conversation they evoked a switch and taylor came out and talked, well…she’s thinking perhaps that they thought we were intellectually challenged, because they don’t understand the did and dissociation. I suppose it makes sense.
She also said that when she does the report she’s going to think very carefully about what she puts down in regards to our capacity to make decisions around our personal safety as a system. She said that the police wanted our clinical notes around the disclosures we made while in hospital, but she has no right legally to give them the notes, they are the property of the HSE, and in order to obtain them the police would have to get our concent and also apply for them under the freedom of information act. I don’t want them to have any of our notes so I am not conscenting!
Other than talking about the police we discussed our ongoing sleep issues. She prescribed a sleep med dalmane for five days. She asked me what I wanted to do about the sleep, I really liked that she didn’t just throw meds at me. I told her I am not a fan of meds and she said she knew that I wasn’t and that I was doing really well to be off the meds that I came off 3 months ago. I said I’d try the dalmane for five days so she just gave me a prescription for it and we said we’d go with that for now.
We talked a little bit about therapy also. I told her about the new code words that me and Eileen came up with to alert her to the fact that we are struggling or having a hard time. She thought it was a really good idea too and she understood why the need to have them.
We see her again next Monday. Just as well as we never got around to writing her xmas card out. We’ll do it on Wednesday with Eileen and give it to her next Monday.
I am leaving in 20 minutes to go see Dr Barry. I really hope its not too busy today in her clinic. I hate when its really busy as I could be waiting for a long time before I see her.
I hope she has the report done for the police. Not sure if she will as its almost Christmas and she might not have had time.
I also need to talk to her about our sleep. We’re struggling with sleep issues lately. I don’t want to go on a sleep med though. I’m not into them.
Other than that though we’re pretty stable. Which is totally awesome!
I’ll let you all know how the appointment went later on this afternoon. Watch this space!
We saw Dr Barry today.
We talked a lot about the past week and about how we are doing. I told her we missed therapy last week. She was very surprised. She mentioned how since she’s known us she didn’t think we had ever missed an appointment with our therapist. I told her how usually we don’t and how it would have to be a pretty bad sickness or an emergency before we’d miss an appointment. We talked about our emotional state last week and the triggers leading up to that.
She mentioned that the police had been in touch. She read the letter that they wrote to her. Apparently the police want to know if we have an intellectual disability, thats laughable actually. Dr Barry said that what they’re really asking is a question around capacity, but that they aren’t phrasing it properly. Because they don’t know anything about dissociation, they thinking what we have is intellectually based disability or something. Dr barry said she was going to write up a report about our diagnosis, and saying that we’re in the mental health service so many years, but that we do not have any form of an intellectual disability. She said she’d read it to us once she had it completed and before she sends it to them.
We talked about how the police hadn’t really gotten my conscent to investigate the assault. They sort of just decided that they were going to do it. A few months ago after the first report we made they did ask what I wanted them to do, and back then I said don’t do anything. But now they haven’t asked, they’ve just taken it upon themselves to do the investigation. The police kind of trigger us so I am hesitant to speak to them again. Its very stressful too. I talked to Dr Barry about it today and she asked me if I am happy to allow them just do their job and see what happens. I said I guessed so.
We also talked a little bit about my family and the upcoming holiday. I told her I was going to go to my mom and dads for xmas and hope that it would all go ok. I told her us and our mom have been getting on better, but I still have a turbulent relationship with our dad at the best of times. He simply drives me crazy. She said its good that I’m getting along with my mom at least.
She asked us to come back next week and hopefully next week we’ll give her the xmas card we have for her. The kids are excited to give her a card.
This morning while I was waiting for our taxi to take us to our parents both dr barry and dr scribbin who is dr barrys junior doctor were coming into work, and they both stopped to talk to us. That felt really good. We had a good conversation with dr barry, she asked us what we were gonna do with the rest of our day and I told her we were going volunteering, after we’d eaten our breakfast. Dr scribbin was actually looking for another patient but when she saw us she stopped to talk to us. She will be leaving at the end of the month. She is going to work with the elderly, not sure if she has to do that as part of her psychiatry training, but what I do know is she will be missed. We have a sorta history with dr scribbin. You see the first time we met her we were in a really bad way and she was on call so she was the doctor who assessed us. Well, lets just say our mood was not great, we were mad, and she set us off. Liz gave her a gruelling and run for her money. So we didn’t hit it off to a very good start. But when she came on to dr barrys team six months ago and we got to meet her some more due to us being hospitalised, things got easier and we actually have grown to like and trust her. We’ve seen her a few times when dr barrys been on vacation and she’s actually a really kind, caring, and good doctor. I feel sad that we were so mean to her but well, as I said we were in a bad place at the time. Now she’s leaving and I wish she wasn’t. it was good to have her when dr barry was off, now there will be a new male doctor coming on the team. I don’t really trust male doctors. Dr barry has said I don’t have to see him if I don’t want to. But it would be nice if there was another doctor that I could see, just for back up, you know? The thing I’ll really miss about mary was her gentle nature, and her kindness, and her chattiness. Its nice when doctors take the time to get to know their patients and I mean really get to know them not just a passing hi or how are you. Its nice when they really listen and hear what you are saying. I got to tell mary today how much I would miss her when she leaves. She said that I’d get used to the new doctor but I doubt it to be honest. I’m going to give her a xmas card, and we have one for dr barry also. I hope they will both like their cards from us. Lots of us are gonna sign the cards.