I’m feeling on edge. Anxiety has flared up. Wanting to just hide away from everyone and everything. Its 3 AM. I cant sleep. Of course it might have helped if I hadnt slept half the day away. But my excuse is I felt ill. I could not face much today. So I had a pretty non productive start to my weekend. Just got up to eat, and see to Nitro and that was it. I seriously need to try to do something about my sleep schedule. I dont want to go on sleep meds. So I need to try to get a routine going where I get up at a certain time and go to bed at a certain time. Especially since I will be starting college in september and need to be up early each morning. My PA comes at 9 AM today. I’ll get her to help me do some housework and then we will go for a coffee and to the bank and grocery shopping. I’m going with my mom and sister and two aunts to see Lionel richie tomorrow night. That should be fun. It was a birthday present from my sister and me to our mom. Other than that no plans for the weekend. I’ve decided I need to do something about losing weight. I had been trying but kinda stopped, I got discouraged and disheartened. I’m making a decision now to try harder to exercise more often, every day if I can. Starting tomorrow. I’ll either do the treadmill or walk outside. I’ll aim for 20 minutes of exercise a day to start. That should be possible. I also need to start drinking more water and eating less junk food. Easier said than done as some of the little insiders crave junk food and beg me for it most weeks and I dont have the heart to say no to them. Maybe I’ll set one day aside each week where they can have one thing, say ice cream, or a hot dog, or something they enjoy. Then we’ll all be happy.
I thought I’d try to list my goals for June. I dont do this nearly as much as I should. I thought about doing it every month, but then I decided I’d probably give up to quickly so I am not gonna do that. Instead I am just going to start and do it for the month of June. So, here goes.
1 Try to lose 5 pounds this month.
I’ve been doing a weight loss programme with my nutritionist for a couple of months now. I havent had great success with it. This month I am going to try hard to lose at least 5 pounds.
2 Exercise 3 times a week for the month of June.
Exercise is a hard one for me, I have trouble with motivation. However I have downloaded zombies run for my phone so I am going to try to exercise using that ap. It looks like a good ap and it might just keep me on track.
3 Go on the trip to Cobh that the basement club is organising.
I’ve never really gone on any of the social outtings that the basement club organised in the past. Not sure why but I just never seem to go. This month we’re going to Cobh, and I intend on going, paying my 15 euro for the meal and going with the group.
4 Not worry about things too much if I can help it.
I am an awful worrier, so for this month, I am going to stop worrying about every little thing. I think this will be hard for me because I just do it unconsciously.
5 Allow the inner kids more time out in the body!
They do get time out to do stuff, but lately it hasnt been as much as I’d like it to be. So this month I am going to give them more time to do the things they love. To play, talk to eileen and dr Barry, etc.
im kind of mad at eileen right now.
i wanted time to talk to her today. i asked carol anne to tell her i needed time.
she did and eileen said ok. but then she forgot me. i never got to talk to her.
she said there was other stuff that seemed more important.
but im important too right? she’s always saying how we’re all important. well today didnt feel like i was very important.
she did apologise and said i could talk to her on Monday. but monday is a long way off. i needed to talk today! its not fair!
hi its taylor and im six
im realy skard
its very dark ote side
i don lik de dark
i tried to pat nitro
so i wont feel skard
it work for litle bit
but now i jus feel skard agin
i was rembering stuf
i didnt like that
memores are hard
bad fings hapen to me in de dark
a long time ago
but somtims it feels like now
is anybudy up
to tok wif me
Here is one of our littles, Darina, singing when I was your man, by Bruno Mars. She just loves to sing. Enjoy it. Comments appreciated.