Tag Archives: Touch

Connection with dr Barry

We did not end up seeing Dr Barry yesterday. Now I feel guilty.
Some of the younger parts really needed to see her, and because It was wet and yucky outside, I canceled. If I am honest it makes me feel bad too that I canceled.
I love when Dr Barry sits close to us, gives us her great advice, hears us and what we have to say, listens so intently, I love the fact that for an hour she is totally present to us and our needs.
I miss her when I dont see her. I miss the connection.
Dr Barry, if you read this, I want you to know, I missed you yesterday, and I needed you, but my feelings got in the way.
I should have taken us to your office, I should have gone even though the weather was bad.
You weer probably worried when we didnt show up. I did ring your secretary, but I wished I could have spoken to you directly instead of her. I wanted to tell you how much we crave that connection with you, and your kindness, your touch, the way you put your arm on ours when your linking us to guide us in to your office, the smell of your perfume, the kindness in your voice as you pat Nitro, now we’ll have to wait until Monday to have all that again.
Monday, a few short days away, make the time go quickly universe.
Love, us

Touch in therapy

Me: Eileen, I need to ask you something, but I’m scared.
Eileen: Its ok, you can ask. Come on, throw it out there. I promise not to freak out.
Me: Really? You really wont freak out if I ask this?
Eileen: I promise, go on, ask.
Me: Um, um, I need…I need you to sit with me, next to me, closer to me, I need physical touch, I crave it.
Eileen: Thats ok, of course I’ll sit next to you.
Then she got up and came over and sat next to us. She put one hand around our shoulders, and began stroking our back. She also held our hand with her free hand.
Eileen: Is this ok? Is everyone ok with this?
Me: Ya, things have calmed considerably now. We’re ok. We’re safe.
Eileen: Do you feel safe? Does my office feel like its safe to you all?
Me: Ya, this is my safe space, it is, right?
Eileen: Right.
Me: Can you sit close to me in future? I think if you did I could open up more. Its comforting to have you near to me.
Eileen: Of course. I totally understand.
Me: Touch is so important when your blind. I know there is huge debate about it in therapy circles. But I dont know, it makes me feel close to you, and I want to feel close to you.
Eileen: I understand Carol anne. I just want to make sure its ok for everyone, that everyone is ok with me being this close. Since so many insiders have been hurt by touch, its important that they know I’d never hurt them.
Me: We know that eileen. And if anyone were to come forward who didnt want you to touch them, I’m sure they’d let you know in no uncertain terms.

After that we spent some time in silence, just taking strength from Eileens embrace. It felt good. We felt so safe. She makes us feel strong, calm, like we can conquer anything. Then we discussed other hard topics that I’ll write separately about later on tonight.
Carol anne