Tag Archives: Sleep

1st August update

The last couple of days have been quite busy. On Thursday I saw Mark my OT…then in the afternoon I went to a talk organised by the basement club on smarter sleep. It was given by a psychologist. I enjoyed it. She had a lot of good suggestions and tips for better sleep. And it was free, usually this person charges about 50 euro per talk, so free is good. There were about 25 of us at the talk which lasted two hours. Tea and coffee were provided, but I just drank sparkling water, and I did not eat any cookies. I kept with my healthy eating plan.
Yesterday I got weighed. I’m down another 1.5 pounds. I’m thrilled with that. That makes 7 pounds that I’ve lost since I started 3 weeks ago. Thats pretty good going. Granted the weight loss has slowed down a little and I didnt lose as much as I did the first week when I lost the four and a half pounds, but the nutrtionist says that everyone is different, and I’m doing good and its good to lose between 1 and 2 pounds a week, because that means its coming off naturally and slowly and that it wont go back on as easily. Plus I wont have saggy or flabby skin as I am exercising as well as eating healthily so thats good. We decided that I will try to drink even more water, because she told me that the water flushes out the fat cells and other toxins out of my body and speeds up weight loss. I’m also going to try and exercise a little bit more, but my main goal for this week is my water intake and drinking more of it.
This morning my PA is coming. I have to go to the vets to buy Nitros dog food, and have him weighed. I also have to go to the credit union and change a cheque. Then I need to go grocery shopping. And then we’ll come back to my house, put the shopping away, and clean the house some. I’m sure the time will fly by as it always does.
Yesterday I rang the organisation that funds my therapy. They are an organisation which provides funding for different things to survivors of abuse. They funded my CCTVS in my home, and they fund my therapy, and yesterday I rang them to see if there was any money available for me for when I start back at college. My case manager said there was a 500 euro grant available just to help with materials and stuff. First though I have to send in a letter of proof that I’ve been accepted on to the course. That shouldnt be a problem. The 500 euro will be very welcome and will help me as I need some new clothes for college. What I have is old and worn and as I am losing weight now I need some new leggings, tops, etc. I’m trying to decide whether I’ll call Karen who used to be Dr Barrys social worker but who is now team leader and ask her to talk to my case manager about possibly getting some extra PA hours, since the hours I put in for werent granted, well the manager of the PA service said I was on a waiting list but who knows when hours will come up. If I can get some extra hours from that organisation then all the better. It is worth a shot.
Today when I am done with my PA I’m going to mom and dads. Mom and my sister and the kids and I are going to Cobh, a nearby town for the day. We’re taking our lunch and having it when we get there. Its something to do and will be nice to just go and sit on the promenade or in the park. Oh yeah, we booked a few days away in two weeks time. We’ll be going to Killarney which is a town about 90 minutes away from where we live. We’re going for two nights and staying in a hotel. I had to book a separate room because the deal that my sister got was a suite but it only holds four so mom and her are staying in it with the two kids. I dont mind though staying in a room on my own, in fact I think I’ll enjoy it. It cost a little more but I didnt mind, it will just be nice to get away for a couple days. We’ll be going to a farm and some woods for a picnic and some other stuff too. That will happen on August 14th and 15th.
Well thats all my news for now. What are your plans this weekend?

Seeing Dr Barry yesterday

we saw dr barry yesterday. it was a really good and productive appointment.
we started off by talking about therapy and about liz and her therapy session that she had on Monday. Dr barry was really interested in how that had gone for Liz. she didnt speak directly to liz, Liz wasnt in the mood for talking so I did the talking instead.
I explained about Liz wanting to commit suicide and coming really close to doing so on Sunday night. Dr Barry was wondering what had made Liz so suicidal, I said it was a combo of things, both dealing with painful emotions and also dealing with memories and having had a lot of flashbacks lately.
Somehow then the conversation turned to our childhood. We ended up talking about the disfunction in our family, our dads alcoholism, and we also spoke about the did, Dr Barry was wondering how far back it was that I remembered us dissociating. She was surprised that I remembered being 3 and talking to the others, when everyone else thought I had imaginary friends. But I clearly remember the others being there, and having conversations with them. I obviously did not know then that it was did.
We talked about our grammas suicide, she killed herself when we were five years old. I talked to Dr Barry about some memories I had surrounding that and her death.
We also talked about our mom now, how most of the time she isnt accepting of the did, and she doesnt acknowledge insiders, but occasionally she does something that shows me she really is quite aware of the fact that there is more than one of us in this body. For example a few years ago when I was hospitalised, I remember asking her to bring some stuffed animals and dolls, and she did it without questioning me about it. And another time she brought some books kids books without asking why I needed them. Its things like that that let me know she kinda gets it sometimes. She just isnt capable of fully understanding the magnitude of the situation.
Dr Barry said she’d introduce me to Zuliana, the junior doctor, and I could use her as a fall back for when Dr Barry is out of the office, as she’s going to be there for six months. I kinda know her already, as she admitted me to hospital a few times, she’s quite friendly, bubbly and quite nice so I dont mind using her if I have too.
We also discussed my sleep and I told Dr Barry I didnt want any meds, she said she’s glad I’m not looking for meds, because they are dangerous for me with our history of overdosing on them, but that if things got real bad then we could look at it again, and she would give them to me if I really wanted them and felt I needed them but right now it would be better if I didnt use them and she was hopeful I could gage if my sleep was off and that I could use my skills I learned to help me when I am tired, and she also said that when I start college in september that she’s hopeful things will settle down. I hope so.

Busy morning

Wednesday. I’ve been up since 6. I went to bed last night at 10 and I got a good sleep. Considering that Iwwas up since 6 yesterday morning I needed it. Before I went to bed I started reading another cathy glass book. This time I am reading a babys cry. I read the first six chapters before bed. So far its a really good book! Once I am done with it I’ll do a book review on here. This morning at 10 there is a guy coming to install CCTV in my house. I am getting it in for extra security. He said it would take about five or six hours to install it. To be honest I dont know why it takes so long and I am kinda annoyed that it is going to take that long. I have to stay in all morning now. Mom is coming over to be here too just in case she is needed for any reason. I also see Dr Barry today. I am nervous about that. I know I have to talk to her about things. About insiders becoming activated by our sessions, and becoming overwhelmed. Eileen said on Monday she’d try to call her and talk to her before I did. I will be honest though with Dr Barry and tell her I was avoiding her last week. Eileen encouraged me to stay my adult self when I go to see her and not to allow anyone else here to talk about this stuff. She said I should do it if possible. I know my relationship with Dr Barry is strong so I know we can work all of this out. I just hope I dont offend her or make her mad by what I have to say. I see her at 4 30 and I’ll write a blog post after I see her about how things went. Dublin was a success yesterday. The meeting with the CEO of shine was very formal. He asked me if I had questions but I didnt. I hadnt anticipated he’d be asking me if I had questions so I hadnt prepared any. That was ok though. He introduced me to all the staff in head office which was nice. They were all really friendly and we shook hands and talked a little bit. It was a long journey both ways, 3 hours each way. And I was only there for like an hour and a half in total. I got home around 5 PM and ate and just chilled out, did email, and stuff until bedtime. I met this real nice couple on the train. They were so friendly, loved Nitro, and even held him for me while I used the bathroom. I read my book on the train going up and back. I enjoyed doing that. And it meant I finished the book too. Well thats about it. I’ll blog again later today.

Not a very productive day

Today was not very productive. I did sleep well last night which was good because I really needed the rest. I’ve had a few bad nights lately sleep wise but after learning yesterday that I’d be having a second therapy session this week and knowing I’d be able to hopefully work on some stuff and resolve it I was able to finally relax and sleep well.
Today I stayed in bed late. I woke up at around 6, fed Nitro, and then went back to bed and managed to sleep on and off till around 11.
My home help came at around 1 and we fixed lunch. We were able to chat as we did that. She was telling me all about her recent weight loss surgery that she had. I really want to lose weight, but I seriously would not go for weight loss surgery, it sounds so restrictive.
After she left I went to my parents for the afternoon. I ended up staying there tonight. My sister came with the kids and it was just nice to spend time with them. Its her birthday on Saturday but she isnt doing anything, she has no plans anyway for it.
I got a text from my cousin that she’s having a bbq for her birthday in two weeks time, so I’m all excited for that. Its going to be a girly night with just all of us girls and we’ll have drinks along with the BBQ. First though there is a girly weekend this weekend, we’re going overnight to a nice town about an hour away from where we live, and we’ll probably go shopping, and there will be drinks on Sunday night too.
Tomorrow is Friday yay Friday I’m in love.
I’m going to the basement club in the morning for a while, then will have therapy later on in the afternoon.
I’m ready for the weekend!