Tag Archives: Sexual abuse

Book review-Switching time

I recently bought the book switching time. Its a book about a woman who has dissociative identity disorder. Its written by her therapist that treated her.
I did not like the book at all. It was way too graphic for my liking. There was just way to much talk about abuse, on more than one occasion the abuse was talked about in a blow by blow account of what happened, with every detail described. I really think there is no need to put that much descriptive stuff about abuse into any book.
Karen, the woman in the book, went into therapy not knowing she had did. Unfortunately I did not finish the book so I cant tell you how it ended. I gave up after 10 chapters. Like I just said, too much graphic detail for my liking. I think though the therapist worked towards integration and eventually all of her alters were integrated.
Just make sure if you do decide to read the book, that your in a strong frame of mind. The book is available in paperback, on kindle, and on audible.

Passwording some blog posts

I will be passwording some blog posts over the next while. They’ll have some pretty intense stuff in them that I dont feel like sharing with the whole world. Feel free to go to the contact page of this blog and shoot me an email if you’d like to read the intense posts. Fair warning though, these posts will have memories in them, triggers, sexual stuff related to abuse, along with other intense feelings.
So…if your ok with that, and you want to still read them, email us. Or comment here and I will email you.

Book review-Another forgotten child, by Cathy Glass

I just finished reading this book 2 days ago. Another forgotten child was a remarkable story. It is the story of Amy, an 8 year old who Cathy fosters. When Amy comes into care she is severely neglected. She also has behavioural difficulties. Her mother and father are both heroin addicts. It is unclear in the beginning of the story why Amy wasnt taken into care at birth, as all of her older half siblings were removed from susan, her mother. On the very first night, during Amys bath, Cathy finds tons of bruises on her but it is not for a long time that she finds out the true extent of how and where Amy got the bruises. Amy doesnt know how to dress herself, wash herself, her teeth are all rotted and decaying, her diet before coming into care consisted of dry toast and biscuits. With a lot of firm boundaries and love and patience Amy begins to respond to Cathy and becomes part of her family. She begins to disclose to Cathy horrific abuse both sexual and physical and also she discloses being involved in child porn and drug dens. The story does have a happy ending but I wont say what the ending is and spoil it for those who may want to read it. It is a story of courage, bravery, and of how a child can so easily fall through the net and go through unspeakable abuse as a result. It is also a story of how one childs life can be turned around given the right intervention, care, and most importantly love.

I told of our abuse, the lasting effects

This past few weeks has been particularly hard for us. That is because during this month 19 years ago, some of our abuse was brought to light. We do love the xmas season and xmas in general now, but it has taken years to get to this point. The abuse came to light when we were 14. Basically what happened was our then art teacher realised something wasn’t right with us, she noticed we’d become really withdrawn in class, we never said much, too afraid to be found out I guess. But anyway, she noticed. And one day in that December 19 years ago, she sat us down and asked us were we ok. What was wrong. And we felt like falling through the floor. We didn’t want to tell her anything. We were so scared of anyone finding out the secrets we had to keep. But she gently kept talking to us, encouraging us to speak to her. And eventually we did. All we said was…

“Someone touched me”

Three simple little words. That said so little yet so much. Those 3 words let her in a little bit, let her know that no, we weren’t ok. In fact we were slowly dying inside. We needed help. She encouraged us to go straight from school and phone our mom. And we did. Our mom was not much help though, not really grasping the horror and extent of what we were trying to tell her. She asked us if she could speak to one of the care staff who was on duty. Once she did, and it was established that we had been abused in some form, the head nun in charge was told. She asked our mom to come to the school the next day.

So the next day our mom travelled the 200 miles to our school and was interigated by the head nun. She was told how she needed to get help for us, how psychologically damaged we were, that we had severe emotional and behavioural problems. Of course we didn’t, but well…the truth had just come out, a little, and the school needed to try to focus on me, so as not to make themselves look bad.

I’ll never forget our moms reaction though. I asked her on the way home…

“Do you believe me?”

And she said…

“I’m not sure” “I don’t know”

Six little words that devastated me. Six little words that had a profound effect on our subsequent relationship ever since that awful day.

I don’t think I’ve ever gotten over our moms rejection and not quite knowing whether she believed our story or not. It hurts. It hurt me to know that my own mother refused to hear me, to help me. It fucking hurt.

So 19 years on and I am struggling tonight. The memories of that time haunt me. They creep in and tear at me and leave me breathless.

Carol anne

writing my memoir

I’ve been thinking lately…yes, i know, thats dangerous. But heres the thing. Some of my friends have been encouraging me to write a book. Tell my story. I’m not sure. Part of me wants to. But part of me is scared too. Would anyone read it? Would it be remotely interesting? Its not all sunshine and roses. Butterflies and rainbows. There are horrors in there that no child ould have to witness. Then there is the fact that i don’t think i’m a very good writer. Would i be able to gather my thoughts and coherently put them down on paper? I know you can self publish now on kindle. And, i’m seriously thinking about it. Because of having did it would probably not be an easy task to write a book. I’d have to include the insiders and their points of view, and thats ok, i’d want to do that. Not really sure still what to do, but really leaning towards trying it out. Has anyone got any tips? Experience of writing a book? Advice?

Carol anne