So my niece Lauren is 7. This past weekend she said two very funny things.
On saturday evening while we were eating dinner, I had to go to the bathroom, my mom was bringing me because I didnt know where to go. When I came back, my sister promptly informed me that Lauren had said I am lucky, because I can walk around with my eyes closed. rofl.
then on sunday morning we were all sitting in my mom and sisters suite, and mom and my sis were packing. All of a sudden lauren pipes up to me, how did you manage to pack your bag when your blind?
rofl too cute.
She’d obviously been thinking about it for a while.
Your attitude is like a box of crayons that color your world. Constantly color your picture gray, and your picture will always be bleak. Try adding some bright colors to the picture by including humor, and your picture begins to lighten up.
Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.
Judy got married and had 13 children.
Her first husband, Ted, died of cancer.
She married again and she and Bob had 7 more children.
Bob was killed in a car accident, 12 years later.
Judy again, remarried,….and this time, she and John had 5 more children.
Judy finally died, after having 25 children.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her.
He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said,
“Lord, they are finally together.”
Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her best friend, Marge,
“Do you think he means her first, second, or third husband?”
Marge replied:..”I think he means her legs, Ethel.”
The Lone Ranger and Tonto, went camping in the desert.
After they got their tent all set up, both men fell asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says,
‘Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see? ‘
The Lone Ranger replies,
‘I see millions of stars.’
‘What that tell you?’ asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says,
‘Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.
Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day, tomorrow.
What’s it tell you, Tonto?’
‘You dumber than buffalo shit. It mean someone stole tent.’