Tag Archives: Healing from trauma

Have you ever?

Have you ever got the feeling that you could just lie down and die
That all the fire in the world couldn’t make you laugh or cry
Have you ever got the feeling that love isn’t worth the chance
That suicide is waiting almost like that of a last dance
Have you ever got the feeling that your life is like a war
That everywhere you turn, people slam your face in their doors
Have you ever got the feeling that darkness is closing in
It takes control of your mind
Blocking your life thats waiting to begin
Have you ever got the feeling that your hearts been betrayed
That its shattering into pieces even after its been tortured and taped up for display
Have you ever got the feeling that your filled with loneliness
That you’ve fallen into a dark hole
That your trapped in your own abbis
Have you ever looked up at the stars and just let your tears fall down
Have you ever wanted to get away so bad that you’d do anything just to get off the ground
Have you ever contemplated suicide and come within seconds of taking your life
But something changed your mind and made you trade your hand to not eating
Instead of slicing your wrists with a knife
Have you ever felt like your in hell, for no reason at all
i’ve fallen from grace and no one can hear my call
i’m hurting inside, i hurt so bad
i feel these things almost every day
i want to give up and stop being sad
i want to stop existing, I don’t want to know
I want to give up, I cant face tomorrow
And out of all the things I’ve felt for so long
I know I cant stay standing, I don’t want to be strong
Not if I have to live my life like this
I feel like I’m lost, feel like I’m down
I want to change half my life, but I cant seem to turn things around
I want to gain my beauty back, something in replace of the black circled eyes
I search everywhere, but I cant replace my abusers lies
My soul is dying, deflating fast
I’ve looked to the future always
I just cant get away from my past
And still it haunts me, still i beg to die
Still i touch the ground, waiting for a place to lie
Still i wonder aimlessly, folding at the seams
I’ve lost my heart, body and soul and now I’m losing my dreams

C1999

The pain of remembering

Mind racing
Heart thumping
Flashes before our eyes
Cant get away from the bad guys
As my mind swirls
And thoughts blurr
I begin to feel sick
Then I start to choke
As I try to keep from throwing up
A hand gently reaches out
“Your ok” She says softly
Those two words
“Your ok”
They speak to me
I find myself begin to tear up
Again those words are spoken
“your ok, your safe”
“I am here with you”
It is then I realise
I dont have to be alone with this pain
I can share it now
And Dr Barry will listen and hear me.

Carol anne
C2014