Tag Archives: Drinking

:d funny!

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and

most of the night celebrating St Patrick’s Day. Mick, the bartender says:

‘You’ll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy’. Paddy replies: ‘OK Mick,

I’ll be on my way then’. Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off..

He

falls flat on his face. ‘Shoite’ he says and pulls himself up by the stool

and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on

his face,

‘Shoite,

Shoite !’

He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can

just get to the door and some fresh air he’ll be fine. He belly crawls to

the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside

and

takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out

onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face.

‘Bi’Jesus…. I’m fockin’ focked,’ he says.

He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the

door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside.

He takes a look up the stairs and says ‘No fockin’ way’. He crawls up the

stairs to his bedroom door and says ‘I can make it to the bed’. He takes a

step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says ‘Fock it’ and

falls

into bed.

The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room

carrying

a cup of coffee and says, ‘Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last

night?’

Paddy says, ‘I did, Jess. I was fockin’ pissed. But how’d

you know?’

Mick phoned . . . you left your wheelchair at the pub.

Short and sweet

This is gonna be short. I’m absofreakinglutely dying. I drank waaaay to many cocktails last night. Too many strawberry daquoiries. Gees can I even spell that word? Anyway, this morning I am paying. Now am sitting here drinking tea, with a massive headache. At least I didnt spend the majority of the night vomiting like one of our aunts did. She only drank 4 cans of beer and she was in a cruel condition. Shes not a drinker you see. So it went straight to her head. She couldnt even go home from our sisters house, she had to go to bed and stay till this morning. It was a great night though and a well earned one for us. We sang, and danced the night away. I usually wouldnt be one for getting up and dancing but my sister persuaded me. Of course her and my cousin both in their 20’s, were taking selfie’s of all of us all night. They’re hilarious. I was supposed to be going to the movies today with our P.A to see the giver but I decided not to go. I cant drag my ass out of bed to get ready. Ha! It will have to wait for another time.
Carol anne