So this morning I’ll be very busy. My PA is coming in a half hour. As usual I have a lot of housework for her to do. But I also need to take Nitro to the vet, and do some grocery shopping…so the time will fly by I am sure. Nitro has ear mites, again, plus he needs to have his anal glands expressed. On thursday of this week his trainer Nathalie came to visit and we did some familiarisation around the college where I’ll be starting in September. We were shown all the classrooms I’ll use, the lunch area, toilets etc and then Nathalie did some training with us which went really well. Its a pretty small college and so it didnt take long at all to do the training. Nitro was his usual awesome self and I was so very proud of him. After the training was finished, we went back to the guide dog centre to have a coffee. Nathalie had said that we’d get one of the kennel staff to look at Nitros ears because he’d been shaking a lot. So that is what we did. Laura from kennels took him, cleaned out his ears, and then brought him back to me. When she came back she said it looked like his anal glands were full. I didnt even know that! So that afternoon I made an appointment for him to see the vet. I have him on a diet too and he’s losing weight on it so I am glad. He went from 38.7 KG to 37.3 KG is two weeks. And this week after the second two weeks he’s down another kilo. I just reduced his food intake and didnt give him so much treats. And it seems to be working. I dont really have any other weekend plans. Tomorrow my mom and aunts are going to my grandads home town to bury the remainder of his ashes. My sisters driving them, and I could have went. But I chose not to do that. I dont really know my grandads family and I feel like I’d like to grieve in my own way. I can still say a prayer tomorrow when I know they’ll be burying the ashes. I’d rather say goodbye in my own way. Its been almost 3 months since he passed away. On 26th July it will be 3 months. How time flies. The grief is still pretty raw. I still miss him a lot.
so the weekend was pretty quiet, all things considered. the family are still pretty consumed by our grandads passing, last Friday mom and her siblings went to his house, to try and sort out the insurance policies, and other things. His ashes came back from the crematorium. They’re in two boxes, half of them are being spread on our grammas grave, and the other half are being spread on his parents grave. Thats what he wanted.
on saturday i had my new P.A, my regular one is off for two weeks. The new girl is african, and she was nice, we hit it off. She did a lot of housework for me, then we went to mcdonalds to have a frape. it was my first time to taste a frape, and man it was good! i got a caramel one.
i usually spend the weekend at my parents but this weekend I didnt do that. not sure why, but I think I just wanted my own space, and some alone time at home just me and nitro. It was nice. On sunday I did go to my parents for dinner. Then on Sunday evening me and mom went to our aunts house. We just had a catch up and they had some drinks, I didnt drink though.
Today is a bank holiday here. We are going to a local garden centre with our mom and aunts, we’ll have lunch there, and look around, I might even buy a plant or two!
So I’ve posted on our blog a few times, that our grandad was very ill. It was kidney failure he had.
He died last Sunday. At 1:25 in the afternoon. It was a really peaceful death, but the lead up to it was awfully hard on him. The week before he died he was extremely sick. The toxins from his kidneys went into his brain. He had severe agitation, confusion, etc. It was really awful to watch him go through that.
On Friday morning he got a morphine pump on…and that was the beginning of the end. He slipped into a coma then and only woke up for brief periods, where his eyes would flicker open and he make little sounds. We were all there when he passed, all of his six kids, and 10 grandkids. He died smiling.
The funeral was yesterday. It was so very sad. But it was also so beautiful. He got cremated. That was his wish. The service was beautiful, with lots of singing, readings, my aunt spoke about him, and we did the prayers of the faithful. I almost fell apart as I read them but somehow I held it together.
Its been a really emotional few days. To be honest I am glad its all over. It has really taken an emotional toll on us. I know my grandad is happy now and he isnt suffering any longer. Its a relief for him really. He had such a fear of dying, however he fought such a courageous and brave battle. He inspires me to be positive or try to be positive about life and keep fighting and battling on even when I dont want to.
Well there isnt much up with me today. we had a pretty rough night last night, and we didnt sleep very well at all. woke up at 4 AM, went to the bathroom, and was going to get up then but decided I’d try to go back to bed and sleep for a little bit longer. I did finally manage a little more sleep and eventually got up at 8 when Nitro was starting to get restless, probably he was hungry for his breakfast. actually managed to eat breakfast which i’ve been trying to do lately but I havent been succeeding every day. caught up on email then and read some on facebook. i was reading facebook on my iphone but it seems the newsfeed is all messed up, with the newest stories not appearing first, does anyone know a way to make the stories on your time line appear in the order in which they were posted? after I finished reading facebook mom put a color in my hair. i had lots of greys and they needed to be covered up. now my hair looks really rich again. i’m really pleased with how it came out. dad was cooking dinner while we did that. we had pork today. dad always cooks dinner on sundays. we’ve just finished eating it now and it was so good. no plans for the rest of the afternoon. dads going to the hospital to visit his brother, whose still in there. he’s there almost 9 weeks now. our grandad is also not doing very well. we all think it wont be too long now and he’ll die. he’s getting worse and worse every day. i was talking to dr barry the other day and she asked me if he’d started to get confused yet. he has. she said once the confusion sets in that the end is very near. i’ll probably stay at our parents again tonight and go home tomorrow morning. i stayed last night too. emotionally i’m feeling mostly ok today. it seems to be at night my emotions get the better of me and i fall apart. if i keep distracted during the day i tend to do better.
So yesterday our dads brother was taken ill. He was found at around noon by a carer in the complex where he lives. He’s 64. He was found in his bedroom covered in blood and vomit and convulsing and an ambulance was called. When the ambulance got there they had to resussitate him and then they took him to the hospital. He has not regained consciousness since they resussitated him. They are treating the seizures as alcohol withdrawal seizures, but now they think he may have had a stroke also as the left hand side of his body is completely dead. Every time the doctors were trying to get a response from him today they couldnt. He has had CT scans and brain scans and all sorts of tests today. He’d been breathing on his own last night and earlier today but now he’s on a ventolator and in a medically induced coma. They’re also giving him medication to treat the seizures. They’ve said they think he’s having tons of seizures going on in his brain. . the doctor said its serious, he’ll either regain consciousness or he wont. If he does we dont know what type of damage will be done to his brain as we dont know how long he was there before he was found. Its a tough time for our family. Our dad whose his brother is really agitated and angry and not coping at all well. We’re trying to support him as best as we can. If any of you pray please do that for us. Thanks.