Tag Archives: DBT

LIZ, I TALKED TO DR BARRY

WELL I DID IT. I TALKED TO DR BARRY. I TOLD HER EVERYTHING. SHE ASKED ME LOTS OF QUESTIONS ABOUT MY EMOTIONAL STATE, ABOUT STUFF FROM THE PAST, ABOUT FEELINGS, YES, THOSE ALL IMPORTANT THNGS THAT DRIVE ME FREAKING NUTS. SHE GOT IT AND WAS TOTALLY AWESOME. I HAD A KINDA HARD TIME TELLING HER ABOUT HOW I VIEWED OUR RELATIONSHIP, HOW WHEN SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO ME, LIKE HER OR EILEEN COMPLIMENTS ME, THAT I AUTOMATICALLY THINK THEY ARE JUST SAYING GOOD OR NICE THINGS TO BE NICE, THAT THEY HAVE AN OLTERIOR MOTIVE. IT WAS HARD TO TELL HER HOW IMPORTANT SHE IS TO US, WITHOUT FEELING DUMB. SHE UNDERSTOOD THOUGH. I FELT GOOD ONCE I TALKED TO HER. LIKE A WEIGHT HAD BEEN LIFTED FROM ME. I TOLD HER I’D OFFERED TO HELP CAROL ANNE WITH COLLEGE, AND WE’RE ALSO TALKING ABOUT ME POSSIBLY TAKING ON A KINDA DUAL ROLE WITH CAROL ANNE, SO WE’D BOTH BE LEADING THE SYSTEM, NOT JUST HER ON HER OWN. DR BARRY SEEMED TO THINK THAT WAS A WONDERFUL IDEA. SHE PRAISED ME AGAIN SAYING I’D REALLY COME VERY FAR IN THE PAST YEAR, WHERE AS BEFORE I’D REACT FIRST THINK LATER, NOW I’M STARTING TO THINK FIRST REACT SECOND. ITS FUNNY TO DO THINGS IN THAT WAY WHEN I NEVER DID BEFORE. BUT IT ALLOWS ME TO STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND STUFF SO THAT IS A POSITIVE. I TOLD DR BARRY I’D DONE THE OBSERVING AND DESCRIBING EMOTIONS WORKSHEET AND FOUND THAT BENEFICIAL. I ALSO TOLD HER I HAD INTENSE URGES TO SELF HARM WHEN I WAS TRIGGERED LAST WEEK BUT I DIDNT DO IT INSTEAD I USED MY COPING SKILLS. VERY PROUD OF MYSELF FOR USING MY SKILLS. I’M GLAD I MANAGED TO TALK TO HER AND I DIDNT END UP SAYING NOTHING. NOW SHE KNOWS, SHE’LL BE MORE AWARE THAT THINGS LIKE POSITIVE COMMENTS COMPLIMENTS TRIGGER ME.
LIZ

TRIGGERED SO DOING THIS. OBSERVING AND DESCRIBING EMOTIONS WORKSHEET

FEELING INTENSE EMOTION RIGHT NOW. AM REALLY TRIGGERED. SENT EILEEN A TEXT TELLING HER I FELT OVERWHELMED AND EMOTIONAL AND TRIGGERED. DIDNT HAVE WORDS TO TELL HER WHY. SHE’LL UNDERSTAND. SAW THIS ON ANOTHER BLOG AND DECIDED I’D TRY AND FILL IT OUT. HERE GOES.

Name: LIZ Date: 8/27/15

Primary Emotions: SADNESS, ANGER, OVERWHELM, DESPAIR Intensity (0-100): 90

Prompting event (for emotion, who what, where, when):

WAS HAVING FLASHBACKS. THEY CAME ON SUDDENLY. REMEMBERED STUFF AROUND MY ABUSE. STUFF ABOUT BEING RAPED. COULDNT GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD AND SPIRALED THEN.

Interpretation (beliefs, assumptions, and appraisals of the situation):

THIS IS NOT HAPPENING, IT CANT BE. ITS NOT FAIR. I HATE FLASHBACKS, I HATE MEMORIES, I WISH IT WOULD JUST STOP.

Body changes and sensing: FEELING LIKE PUNCHING SOMEONE, PREFERABLY MY ABUSERS, WANTING TO CRY, FEELING ALONE AND FRUSTRATED.

Body Language (facial expression, posture, gestures): EYES TEARING UP, SCREWING UP MY FACE, HITTING MY HAND ON THE TABLE

Action Urges (what did I feel like doing, what did I want to say):

PUNCHING SOMEONE, CRYING, LASHING OUT, REACHING OUT TO SOMEONE, CUTTING.. Taking PILLS. .

What I said or did in the situation:

EMAILED MY THERAPIST, DRANK A CUP OF COFFEE, LOOKED AT MY EMAIL, PATTED NITRO.

After Effects (secondary emotions, memories, thoughts, state of mind, behavior):

THE ANGER TURNED TO OVERWHELMING SADNESS ONCE THE RAGE SUBSIDED. FELT LIKE JUST CRYING MY EYES OUT. NEEDED A HUG FROM SOMEONE.

(expectations) and the root emotion (anger.)

Function of Emotion: ????

Other possible interpretations:

I SHOULD USE MY COPING SKILLS, IF I DO, THEN PERHAPS I’LL FEEL LESS INTENSE EMOTIONS AND BE LESS TRIGGERED.

New Intensity (0-100): 50

The you and me managing emotions course

So a few weeks ago my psychiatrist Dr. Barry refered me to a course on managing emotions, called you and me. Its a six month intensive DBT skills course, where you learn how to manage and regulate emotions, I wasnt too kean at first, but then when I read a little more about it I figured I’d like to try it out.
So last week I got the letter where I was invited to go for an initial assessment, to see about my suitability for the course. As I said its six months, in fact its 26 weeks in duration. The thing is, I am due to start college in september in national learning network, so if I started it now, I wouldnt be able to do the full course.
So last week I spoke to Dr. Barry about this. She said that they probably wouldnt accept me if I could not finish out the course, so it would be better if we left it for now. I was disappointed, but hopefully some time down the road I can do it if its still running. I could really benefit from something like it, where I could home in on different coping skills, learn about distress tolerance, emotional regulation, etc.

Cant sleep so nervous todays the day

todays the day we have our dbt assessment. i’m so nervous, we all are. its 4 AM and we are awake. we were asleep but kept dreaming about the assessment. I guess its playing on our mind. We woke up properly at 3 30 and we’ve been unable to go back to sleep since. We prob wont go back to sleep now since we’ve to be up at 7. Our apt is at 10 AM. Lil sis is dropping us there and then we’re making our own way home afterwords. We cant even chill out after the assessment because we’ve got our home help coming at 4 PM, and then therapy at 6. It will be good to have therapy I think…we can talk to Eileen about how it went. A friend of ours had the same assessment yesterday and she said it was very intense. Please all keep your fingers crossed for us that everything goes ok, thank you guys. 🙂
xx
Carol anne