Tag Archives: Child parts

Another psychiatrist apt

We will see Dr Barry later this morning. There is so much stuff we want to say to her. Have spent the time this morning while we were in the shower, trying to gather our thoughts, put things in some sort of order, so that we don’t forget anything. She’ll probably have a psych student in the room with her so we’re trying to prepare for that also. She always gives us the option of saying no to the students, but I feel it is important to allow them in, especially since so many people in the mental health profession are ignorant about did and ptsd moreso did though. Perhaps if we allow them in to our appointments then more of the upcoming doctors will learn and want to try to get it. Dr Barry is certainly a good teacher, explaining everything to the students. Liz wants to talk to her, I mustn’t forget that, but I doubt Liz will allow me to. Also, Lexi has been pretty scared since the police rang last night, she has a very real fear of police since we’ve had a few bad experiences with them in the not so distant past. So I told Lexi that she could talk with Dr Barry today if she felt like it, and that made her feel happier. The kids just adore Dr Barry. She’s so nice to them too. It warms my heart and makes me feel good to know that she really is in tune with the littles. She just knows how to appropriately act towards them which is nice. I don’t have to leave for another few hours, since our appointment isn’t until 11 30. I might write some things down so that they are more clear in my mind. I’m also considering phoning Mark, our OT this morning. He said I could call him if I changed my mind about the plan we made last week, that we were going to wait to talk to the school psychologist about the transport issue. I’ve changed my mind. I’d prefer if he rang the manager of the school and just directly asked about it. Then I’ll know for sure.
carol anne

if i was adopted by our therapist or dr Barry

hi its alicia
im awake real early. its not even six AM. and i am up.

i’ve been thinking. all i want is a forever real family to love me. to take care of me. and i dont have that.

i still wish our therapist or dr barry would adopt me. they have cool families. and dr barry is so nice to her kids. she really loves them you can tell because i heard her talking to one of them on the phone. and our therapist loves her children too, because when her son was in the hospital she stayed by his side.

our mom hates me. im not even real to her. im just an angry mood. im not even a person to her. it makes me so sad. it makes me so angry. i really try not to be angry. but i feel rejected and unloved and unwanted. i feel like i am not really part of our bio family.

so if eileen or dr barry adopted me…that would be great. before anyone gets mad at me for wanting that, i know it cant happen. i just wish it could. and wishing is ok right? i mean i can hope. eileen and dr Barry both get it. they’re both really nice to me about me wanting them to adopt me. dr barry says i just want to be cared for and loved. she’s right, i do.


i’ve been thinking about eileen a lot tonight. i like her a lot. shes always nice to us kids. she says real nice things to us and she never yells. im glad she doesnt yell cuz yelling is scary to me. i just hate yelling. it minds me of bad people who abused me. they would yell and scream and stuff. but not eileen she doesnt do that. and im glad bout that. i talk to her a lot these days. i tell her about all the bad stuff that happened to me and thats a lot of stuff. i dealt with the cult abuse a lot, im not the only one but i had to deal with a big chunk of it. that is very scary stuff and i hate telling and talking about it because i always fear i wont be believed. but yesterday eileen said she believed us. that felt good. it feels good to be believed by our therapist. i know they are posed to believe you. but it still feels good to be told it out loud that your believed. i want to ask eileen to hug me, like she hugged emily a few weeks ago. im a little scared to ask her. i bet she would but im just shy to ask. maybe soon i will get up the courage to ask her. she says we can ask her anything! well i gotta go now its 3 am i need to go to bed with nibbles our rabbit and go to sleep. carol anne tried to sleep earlier after she finished her book but she couldnt so we got up again then. i think ill turn on some kidz bop music on our phone and listen for 20 minutes before we go to sleep.
night everybody
allie age 9

Our littles will be doing some Videos!

Our littles are going to be posting up some videos. However I will be password protecting them. If you want the password, please feel free to comment to this post.
You’ll need to use an email address that you regularly check, so I can send it to you.
Let me know in your comment if the email address associated with the comment is the one you want to use.
Carol anne