Tag Archives: Borderline personality disorder

BPD and me?

So all or most of our readers know our primary diagnosis is did and ptsd. Well we also have traits of BPD. Or the new name is emotionally unstable personality disorder. I’m not sure I like that name very much. Tonight the BPD is kicking my butt.

I feel like everything is black or white, no inbetween.

I feel low, then very high. Again no inbetween.

I feel rage…rage at my abusers, rage at people who let me down, just a lot of rage.

I want to do the most destructive thing and feel totally justified in having done it. But I probably wont.

I just feel very unstable and it doesn’t help that I cant sleep on top of all that.

Ug sigh. It also doesn’t help that I never got to talk to our therapist again today. I called her, and she did call me back. But her blue tooth wasn’t working and she was driving to college and so when it wouldn’t work she wasn’t able to talk. She was in a rush and couldn’t pull over to talk. So now I’ll have to make do until today when I see her. I said it was fine and I didn’t mind but part of me does. Part of me is like why wasn’t she able to be there for me? Why did she wait until she was traveling to call me? Why?

Carol anne

Leaves of change, the documentary

Just got back home after the launch of leaves of change, the new documentary that shine, who work with people and families with self experience of mental health issues created. It was a super documentary. The documentary featured two resource centres, well they are drop in community centres that shine run in Cork and dublin in Ireland. Their aim is to help people who suffer with mental health issues to recover. They do this in partnership with the staff who work there, the relationship between members and staff is an equal partnership. There are groups run in the centres, and also groups for relatives and family members. There is a whole lot of things going on from day to day within the centres. The documentary captured that beautifully. It was a great afternoon. Lots of photos were taken for the newspaper, and there were light refreshments. We got all done up and felt really good, lots of people complimented us on how fabulous we looked for the occasion. We also helped out with the information stand. In a few weeks part of the documentary will be online. When it is I’ll share the link. In the meantime check out shines website to find out more about their wonderful work. Visit

Carol anne

DBT and BPD, assessing someone for DBT skills training?

So, I just need to ask, because I am curious, but also because we’re being assessed next week to do DBT skills training, has any one of our readers ever done dbt? If your borderline especially, what does the assessment entail? Is there a lot of questions? Triggering questions? Usually did people don’t do DBT, it is not a treatment associated with dissociative identity disorder. Usually it is those who are borderline or have BPD that partake in DBT therapy. Our psych doc wants me to try it because she thinks I, Carol anne have traits of emotionally unstable personality disorder and so she thinks it may benefit me. That is, if they will take me on the course. They may not, because we are actively suicidal and having self harm urges. In fact our psych doc thinks they probably aren’t going to take us at this time. So all this is probably gonna be for nothing. But you never know. I guess what I am asking is…is the assessment for doing DBT very traumatic? Do they go into a lot of detail about your suicide attempts, and self harm attempts? I am just nervous that we’re going to switch during it or be very, very triggered!

Carol anne