Tag Archives: Attachment issues

Making progress in therapy

In therapy today I spoke about progress and what progress means to me. I had asked Eileen if she thought we made much progress in the past two years that we’ve been seeing her. So then, she asked me what do I see as progress, how would I measure it. Thats difficult. Sometimes I feel we’re not making much headway but at other times I feel we’re making great strides. Eileen said that therapy is not a linear process, it doesn’t go in a neat straight line. That sometimes we’ll think we’re taking one step forward and two steps back. And it sort of does feel that way a lot of the time. I guess that is because we are doing a lot of work with different insiders in our did system. Its not only me Carol anne who does the work. Far from it. It made me think though, what exactly does progress mean? Is progress being able to talk indepthly in great detail about my traumas? Is progress not being admitted to the hospital for a long time, if ever at all? Is progress the fact that I am really attached to Eileen and I feel I really trust her? Is progress sharing details of my traumas to Eileen in emails? This is all progress. Sometimes progress is a big thing, while at other times its the little things which make up our progress. Eileen said to me she feels one of our biggest accomplishments, and one of the biggest changes that she sees in us is the ability to self regulate and manage our overwhelm more now than we have been able to in the past. Nowadays we don’t always need Eileen to reign us in after an overwhelming day of memories, or overwhelming emotions. She said that is one of our biggest accomplishments since starting our work together. I was happy that she noticed that we sometimes manage on our own now. Of course there are times, like yesterday when I called her because I needed to hear her voice, I needed that connection with her and to her. But I just left a message, in it I said it was not urgent and there was no need to respond if she couldn’t. She did respond to me last night, but if she hadn’t it wouldn’t have been a big deal and I would have coped until today. For that and for all the hard work we’ve been doing lately I am immensely proud. Do I feel we’re making progress? Yes, I do, I really do.
Carol anne

Saw an alternate doctor today, Dr Barrys off for a week

So because Dr Barry is on holidays, I saw Dr S, her junior doctor. Dr S and us had a rocky start. She’s been in the mental health services for a year now, she wasnt under Dr Barry when I saw her last year for an assessment. Actually the reason we had such a rough start was due to Ro, who is usually a very angry insider. Ro felt that Dr S was dismissing her during that initial assessment, and she got very annoyed with her. But we’re over it now. We actually like Dr S now. Today we discussed a lot. We felt she really heard us, and she really listened. She was interested, and wanted to know about our life, and what was going on for us. It was easy to open up to her. She was really interested when we told her about doing EMDR in therapy, as she said she’s only ever read about it, and she didnt know much about how it was done. We also discussed the ongoing police investigation, and our anxiety levels around this time of year and the anniversaries of abuse and stuff. We also discussed some about our family, and she was really understanding about that, too. I told her what our aunt had said recently and she said how rude that was and how when someone is in another persons home they shouldnt be so insulting. We also discussed some issues around attachment both to our therapist, and to dr Barry. I said how I hate that Dr barry is exposed to the things that happened to us, because she lives in a totally different world to that, and I dont like that she has to be exposed to the horrific things that went on in our life. Dr S said the day a psychiatrist stops caring about the patients they see, is a bad day. And she also said she realised we have a very strong bond built up with dr Barry since we see her weekly. It was a good appointment and I am glad I put my anxiety about seeing Dr S behind me and just went for it, and saw her. It was worth it.
Carol anne