Tag Archives: Abuse survivor

Have you ever?

Have you ever got the feeling that you could just lie down and die
That all the fire in the world couldn’t make you laugh or cry
Have you ever got the feeling that love isn’t worth the chance
That suicide is waiting almost like that of a last dance
Have you ever got the feeling that your life is like a war
That everywhere you turn, people slam your face in their doors
Have you ever got the feeling that darkness is closing in
It takes control of your mind
Blocking your life thats waiting to begin
Have you ever got the feeling that your hearts been betrayed
That its shattering into pieces even after its been tortured and taped up for display
Have you ever got the feeling that your filled with loneliness
That you’ve fallen into a dark hole
That your trapped in your own abbis
Have you ever looked up at the stars and just let your tears fall down
Have you ever wanted to get away so bad that you’d do anything just to get off the ground
Have you ever contemplated suicide and come within seconds of taking your life
But something changed your mind and made you trade your hand to not eating
Instead of slicing your wrists with a knife
Have you ever felt like your in hell, for no reason at all
i’ve fallen from grace and no one can hear my call
i’m hurting inside, i hurt so bad
i feel these things almost every day
i want to give up and stop being sad
i want to stop existing, I don’t want to know
I want to give up, I cant face tomorrow
And out of all the things I’ve felt for so long
I know I cant stay standing, I don’t want to be strong
Not if I have to live my life like this
I feel like I’m lost, feel like I’m down
I want to change half my life, but I cant seem to turn things around
I want to gain my beauty back, something in replace of the black circled eyes
I search everywhere, but I cant replace my abusers lies
My soul is dying, deflating fast
I’ve looked to the future always
I just cant get away from my past
And still it haunts me, still i beg to die
Still i touch the ground, waiting for a place to lie
Still i wonder aimlessly, folding at the seams
I’ve lost my heart, body and soul and now I’m losing my dreams

C1999

3 things to look for in a good therapist

Just because someone says a therapist is “good” doesn’t mean they’re
going to be good for you. The therapist that changed your friend’s
life may not change yours. I believe every therapeutic relationship is
different and many factors go into how effective a therapist can be.
Every therapist-client experience is unique.

There are the obvious factors that make a therapist “good,” like
communication and listening skills, the ability to read subtext (what
the client is really trying to say), creating a safe space, and
pulling from various theories. But I do believe there are three less
obvious but more vital qualities that every therapist should have to
be truly effective.

1. Your therapist must believe you can change.

You may feel hopeless about your story, but your therapist can not. If
so, he or she has a ceiling, turning the “room” into a box instead of
a clear blue sky. If they don’t believe change or healing is possible
for you, how can they help you execute it? And in order for them to
believe you can change, they must understand you and invest in your
story on some emotional level. They must not judge or compare you to
other clients. This creates a unique connection which builds trust.
And in this space, hope sprouts. Without it, there will be no growth.

Many therapists see clients they don’t believe can change. Now there’s
a difference between will and can. Will is on the client. Can is on
the therapist. Everything ends or begins with what one believes. This
includes your therapist.

2. Your therapist should have the kind of energy you aspire to obtain.

So many therapists have flat energy. And they can get away with it
because they have a plaque on their wall that says they went to
therapy school. This low energy is usually due to fear or burnout from
seeing too many clients. Fear to show one’s true self is extremely
common in this field. We learn to hold a neutral space so the focus is
on the client. OK, but at the risk of turning into a robot.

Of course, the session should always be about the client and not the
therapist. But I believe there should be contagious energy generated
by the therapist, the kind that is produced from one being fearless,
practicing transparency, and knowing how many clients is too many.
Basically, doing their best to live a healthy authentic life.

3. Your therapist has to awaken something in you.

Revelations aren’t enough. Your friends can give you a revelation
about yourself. Most seek therapy because a part of them feels dead.
Through the therapeutic process, something has to be awakened in the
client. It doesn’t matter how this is done. It depends on the
therapist. And I believe it’s less about her therapeutic approach and
more about who she is. Awakenings happen through collisions of people
being their authentic self. This awakening is what creates secondary
change.

I don’t think it’s easy to find a “good” therapist. But the right one
can change your life.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-12240/3-things-to-look-for-in-a-good-therapist.html

Brave heart award!

I woke up this morning, to find that we’d been nominated for the brave heart award. Thank you to turkeyboneheaven for the nomination, it is much appreciated. We needed something to cheer us up, this did the trick so thank you. Now on to the award!

xx

The Brave Heart Mission Statement

The Brave Heart Mission Statement

To encourage all those (men & women) whom have been abused (all abuse) to share their hope with others so that they will no longer be a victim but a survivor that knows that they are loved.

What is The Brave Heart Award? The Brave Heart Award is for Survivor’s of abuse.

Share this Quote with your Brave Heart Nominees.

Stand Strong You Are Not Alone
I call you a survivor, because that is what you are.
There are days when you don’t feel like a survivor and there are days when the memories trigger your past and it feels like you are loosing the fight – but you are not. Take the past and heal with it. You are strong. I want you to know that the abuse was not your fault. It does not matter what age it happened. You did not deserve it, you did not cause it, and you did not bring it on yourself. You own no shame, guilt, or remorse.
In your life, you have faced many demons but look around you and you will see there is hope, and there is beauty. You are beautiful, You are loved, there is hope. You deserve to be loved and treated with respect. You deserve peace and joy in your life. Don’t settle for anything less than that. God has plans for you. Your future does not have to be dictated by your past.

Each step you take you are not alone.
Stand Strong.
TBH

Rules for accepting the Award

1. Thank the person whom nominated you.

2. Post a comment on your nominees blog notifying them they have been nominated for The Brave Heart Award and Share the Quote below with your Brave Heart Nominees.

Stand Strong You Are Not Alone
I call you a survivor, because that is what you are.
There are days when you don’t feel like a survivor and there are days when the memories trigger your past and it feels like you are loosing the fight – but you are not. Take the past and heal with it. You are strong. I want you to know that the abuse was not your fault. It does not matter what age it happened. You did not deserve it, you did not cause it, and you did not bring it on yourself. You own no shame, guilt, or remorse.
In your life, you have faced many demons but look around you and you will see there is hope, and there is beauty. You are beautiful, You are loved, there is hope. You deserve to be loved and treated with respect. You deserve peace and joy in your life. Don’t settle for anything less than that. God has plans for you. Your future does not have to be dictated by your past.

Each step you take you are not alone.
Stand Strong.

TBH

3. Take the 12 question interview yourself and share your answers on your blog. (See Below)

3. Nominate 12 blogs.

5. Share the 12 question interview with your nominees to answer.

6. Share your 12 nominees website/blog links on your blog page.

Brave Heart Award 12 Question Interview

Download PDF Questionnaire Or copy the questions below.

1. Tell us a little bit about your blog. Who designed it?

We designed our own blog. It is a blog about surviving, survival of abuse and also healing and recovery

2. What is the title and description of your blog?

Many of us’s blog, is the title, living with did and PTSD is the description

3. Who is your intended audience and why should they read your blog?

Our intended audience is really anyone who wants to read, but I guess mainly we are reaching out to others with similar issues to us.

4. How did you come up with the title of your blog?

Well we’re multiple, so it makes sense, many of us? Because we are many.

5. Give us an interesting fun fact about your blog.

Its had over 40 thousand views in just 2 years!

6. What other blogs do you own and what makes them alike?

I own a humour blog, and a recipe blog…they arent really alike.

7. Do you have any unique talents or hobbies?

Not really lol. I guess I am not unique haha

8. How can we contact you or find out more about your blog?

You can contact me by finding the get in touch page on our blog!

9. What can we expect from you in the future?

More writing about our journey from abuse victim to abuse survivor.

10. What can readers who enjoy your blog do to help make your blog more successful?

Comment, like our posts, we appreciate you all!

11. Do you have any tips for readers or advice for other writers/bloggers?

Be real. Be yourself. Dont hold back.

12. Before you go, could you share a snippet from your blog?

I am a worthwhile person and I deserve to live!

Now…my nominations!

1 Anxious elephant
http://anxiouselephant.wordpress.com
2 I was a foster kid
http://looneytunes09.wordpress.com
3 Kats blog over at
http://lookingforthemissingme.wordpress.com
4 Our minds inside
http://liljessiesblog.wordpress.com

I cant think of any more nominees right now sorry!