About us and this blog

So, what to say. I’m not good at introductions but here goes…


, S is our host.  Our body age is 34  years old but of course there are people inside here who are many ages. It just depends on whose out…


We are blind and have been since birth. We were born 13 weeks premature so the backs of our eyes werent developed properly, causing our blindness.  We do not really mind being blind, its ok really, I mean we have never saw so, well, you just adapt?


We have had two former guide dogs and are now on our third, whose name is Nitro..he’s a cross between a lab and a golden retriever and he’s oh so cute and our baby in every sense of the word!. Our previous dogs were Goldie, a golden retriever, and Maisie, a cross between a lab and a retriever.


We are survivors of many things, including lots of abuse. The abuse mostly took place in a boarding school, from age 5 to 16, but before then we lived with our dads family, two of whom are alcoholics, and, our dad is also an alcoholic. So our early childhood was traumatic.  We are SRA survivors, SRa stands for satanic ritual abuse, and this abuse took place at the boarding school, starting at age 8, and ending when we were sixteen. At the boarding school we also suffered psychological abuse, sexual abuse and physical abuse from care staff, nuns and a care taker.


We were also bullied as a teen, in mainstream school, as we were mainstreamed at age 16 for the remainder of our schooling.  We suffered from anorexia as a teenager, and were hospitalised due to it.  Since then though the diagnosis has been changed to bulimia.  Not all of us struggle with eating issues though. Actually only a few of us do.


We see a therapist once a week for 90 minut sessions, and we also have a psychiatrist.  We were formerly diagnosed with did in December 2010, but we were unofficially diagnosed back in early 2000.


If you’d like to know any thing else, please feel free to ask me..


Peace, and thanks for reading this post.

67 thoughts on “About us and this blog”

  1. I understand, I’ve done so many introductions over the years as things shifted and changed. From our first communities on msn we have maintained the name Lady J talks and that’s the name most remember still. Many of Us is a name I remember and a alter Carol…so I’m still trying to figure out if you are the same one from the groups back then. Insiders have lot’s of questions for that one because it has been a while since they have had contact.

    We had our story up on the website for many years, and still have part of it through out, though mostly now I have rested and done some other healing the past five years. I still have others who come through and start the process of learning and I try to be as helpful as I can. That’s why I was hoping you would come by the new WP site and put your link here with comment so the new people coming through can find you also.

    New Word Press site starting  Lady Jz Talk Zone Center

    1. How do I get to the wordpress site? Can you provide the link? Thanks for the nice comment, I appreciate it. I am not the same many of us, I think I remember another one too though…

    1. Hey Jacki. I can’t see a way on your WordPress site to follow you and when I click to make a comment it says I need a particular log in detail? Most confused. But would like to be able to keep up with you as you do me. X

      1. the word press requires an log in. it was strange to me I couldn’t use the log in for the site either I had to make another one attached to a different address. Of course over the years I had a couple different ones apparently but I think I have that solved.

  2. Huh. I thought I’d ‘followed’ a commented here already?! Anyway – hi from us =D I want to do a childcare course! Nice little introduction 🙂 B

  3. I’ve also studied childcare and take care of a young child at the moment. 🙂

    It sounds like you’ve had a really hard and painful road. I’m glad to have stumbled across your site and look forward to reading and hearing more. You sound very strong.

    1. I really appreciatae your kind comments. Thank you from all of us. We love studying childcare, we love kids. We do not think we are strong at all. Its nice to see that someone else thinks so. ❤ ty XX

  4. Wow, you are remarkable! I have been following your blog for only a short time. I had not read your “about” page yet. I was struck by how many posts you put up at once and the total change in dialect and personality, age and demeanor. I thought you were just being creative. This morning I started reading and it finally clicked in my mind what was going on. I know, a little slow on the uptake. All I can say is WOW! I am floored by your shear courage and will to survive! You are totally amazing. I will refer to you as one because you are one, dear child of God, that did what you had to do to not feel so much abuse in one person because that would be unbearable. My heart goes out to you, thank you for sharing your story and I follow your journey to healing with interest, hope, love and prayers for you.

  5. I look forward to reading more from you. I am sorry to hear you had such a traumatic childhood. We have that in common. I am so interested in SRA and any cult related stuff. Talk to you soon…

      1. No I am not a survivor of SRA, but I was raised in the christian church which was really weird sometimes. I went to a school that was just strange as far as religion and beliefs go. I don’t know why I am so drawn to stories like this. I do feel I was tortured, but it wasn’t ritualistic.

      2. Sorry you had bad experiences with religion. I was raised in a catholic family and a catholic school but the school was awful and that is where the SRA took place. Ritual abuse takes many forms. Torture is torture even if it isnt SRA!

  6. Hello all
    Im a survivor and had DID
    have been invited to view your blog via SMART list.
    Off to play in a ‘party in the park’ at RAF cosford today so not much time.

    Recently joined Wessex Concert Orchestra, I studied in my early years at Royal Academy of Music, but after breakdown never got to play again. Its been 30 years since I last played in a concert (im a cellist), so this is really big for me.
    Music was my life, my talent, my soul mate, so to be reconnected with it is truly wonderful

    However I do have some fears, My grandfather was a Mason and was also an officer in american RAF based In UK, Have been starting to uncover and make links with him and others associated with Masons and RA

    Just hope, being around military does not trigger and I am able to remain focussed as we have a 2 hour long program.

    still, Im looking forward to this very big day and am hopeful, I can get through it without splitting too much.

    Will explore your site when I return.

    1. Good luck today hon hope it goes well for you and, thanks for stopping by! I’m excited that you did! Sorry it took me so long to approve your comment here…:d

  7. a dog named maisie?? that sounds so cool. my nickname is masey, which i think is said the same way. i love dogs so so much, but i’ve never seen one that does work. one of my friends says that the cool thing about dogs is that they really love doing work for their people. is it like that with your dogs? sorry if that’s rude, i just really like learning all about dogs.

    1. Hi Arms
      Yes. Its like that. My dog loved to work. She is retired now tho. I am getting a new dog soon. I will always love Maisie tho. She was my baby girl! Thanks for commenting sweetie!

      Carol anne

  8. Think ur extraordinary sharing ur guys story. I nice to not feel so alone and know that their r others out there who really & truly understand. Our story remains in our head bc of the arguing abt whether to tell it or not. We hate labels & stigmas

  9. Hey friends
    can’t find any other way to contact you that is discreet. Will delete this comment in 24 hrs. Our private blog that you have asked for access to is somewhere we wrote before becoming self aware as a system. We keep it because some of the writing is likely to come up in our therapy. There is a lot of George and the Jenniffers in there. So it’s very 18 + in the posts there. Prior to WordPress these posts were contained in a private place provided by MySpace. In the transfer we created our new blog my internal hammock. We chose to keep the other blog as a place of reference. We didn’t want you guys to be offended that we will not grant you access to this blog. We are not granting anyone access to this blog. We hope you are all safe and well.

    your friends
    Ferals xx

  10. Hello nice to meet you, do you have a system name? We are the ladybird system ❤
    You are really brave to talk about your past like that. Have a nice day 😀

  11. my name is jc. i have did. dakota is a nine month old boy, jen is 5, jennifer, the host, is 18, jaykat is35, mommy is around 28 but not for sure,a french lady, no name yet, older not sure how much older maybe 50, kitty kitty, probably a kitten we think, jennie, not sure how old but she is violent and mean, mechelle, 16, jc, male 44. jennifer is bulimic, one is a cutter, we have cfs, ptsd, been diagnosed with bi polar disorder and hear voices, see things. jennifer is very scared and has had alot of trauma including sra, physical and sexual abuse, raped, isolated, confined and bound, mental and emotional abuse. we have found your blog very informational. we are now starting to really know this is real and we are not just crazy. our partner, valerie, is very supportive but has trouble dealing sometimes. she makes sure we go to therapy every week and tries to help us as much as possible. we live in the us, fresno, ca. would like to get to know others with did. please friend us on fb. i need a support network. jccrampton@gmail.com.

  12. I started of chuckling because of your witty sarcasm but then my chuckling turned into a big O on my mouth of shock and surprise.
    I am very sorry about everything. I don’t know how fate can be so sadistic.

  13. You have been through so much and you are a survivor. I am so sorry for what has happened to you. That is not easy but I am so glad to have met you and to know that you here and sharing with others. You show me that we are able to survive and to one day be okay. Can’t wait to know more about you. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

  14. Heelo!
    I received an invitation to join this blog. Receiving any invitation to anything is always an honor.

    I have only briefly looked at the information here, but it doesn’t take long to realize the depths of pain that must have been experienced. Yet, at the same time, it is quite obvious that there is something inspiring about coming out of that pain and having a positive impact on the world around you.

    I’m looking forward to reading what is said here..


  15. Real curiosity question here. I know what DID is…in a very general sense. But why do you speak in terms of we, instead of I(as in the person that’s in control the majority of the time)?

    1. We are just used to doing that. Its more helpful for us. To speak as we as a group, instead of I as one individual person, sometimes more than one of us is in control at once. Hope that answers it. XX

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Living life with dissociative identity disorder and complex PTSD

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