talked today to Dr barry, dissociation on my mind

Had my weekly appointment today with Dr Barry. I discussed the intense episode of dissociation that I had last week. Not sure if I mentioned it but I had a really intense episode of dissociation, culminating in us wandering the streets at midnight. Luckily we were brought home and everything turned out ok. But it could have been far worse and that was really brought home to be upon thinking about it and reflecting on it. Dr Barry was concerned, she asked me how often I get dissociative fugue, I told her once every couple of months, like I think the last really bad episode was about 4 months ago. She said she thinks it was the stress and anxiety about starting college, along with a trigger date last Monday which brought it on. I told her Eileen had said that in therapy this week we’d discuss it. She knows I find the ritual abuse really hard to talk about. I do talk to her about it at times, and I’ve given her some of my writing on the subject before. I’m able to write about it in much more detail than I can talk about it. She said that it would be better if I discussed it in therapy rather than bringing too much up today and becoming overwhelmed because it may lead to me decompensating and having another episode. So we just talked around the date, not going into much detail about the abuse. That was ok with me. Its a good thing there are people in my life who know about my did, who know me and have known me for years, who know when I’m not ok and can manage it and dont get panicked or overwhelmed. I am grateful to have such caring friends in my life. Dr Barry said as much to me too. The rest of our appointment was spend talking about the weight loss that I’m doing. I told her I hadnt lost any weight last week that I’d maintained. And how disappointed I was because of that. She said losing weight is not easy, there are so many aspects to it, the body has so much to cope with, between hormones, and all the different systems in the body trying to work at once. She said at least I didnt gain, I guess she has a point. Other than those two things I told her about my first week at college and how that was going. She was eager to hear all about it. We set another appointment for 4 PM next wednesday and she wished me luck for my therapy session tomorrow. I thought that was so sweet of her.

2 thoughts on “talked today to Dr barry, dissociation on my mind”

  1. That sounds a scary episode Carol Anne. Stress does tend to exacerbate this sort of thing. Losing weight is tough and Dr Barry is right, at least you’re not gaining. It’s even harder to lose weight when we’re feeling low

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