LIZ, I TALKED TO DR BARRY

WELL I DID IT. I TALKED TO DR BARRY. I TOLD HER EVERYTHING. SHE ASKED ME LOTS OF QUESTIONS ABOUT MY EMOTIONAL STATE, ABOUT STUFF FROM THE PAST, ABOUT FEELINGS, YES, THOSE ALL IMPORTANT THNGS THAT DRIVE ME FREAKING NUTS. SHE GOT IT AND WAS TOTALLY AWESOME. I HAD A KINDA HARD TIME TELLING HER ABOUT HOW I VIEWED OUR RELATIONSHIP, HOW WHEN SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO ME, LIKE HER OR EILEEN COMPLIMENTS ME, THAT I AUTOMATICALLY THINK THEY ARE JUST SAYING GOOD OR NICE THINGS TO BE NICE, THAT THEY HAVE AN OLTERIOR MOTIVE. IT WAS HARD TO TELL HER HOW IMPORTANT SHE IS TO US, WITHOUT FEELING DUMB. SHE UNDERSTOOD THOUGH. I FELT GOOD ONCE I TALKED TO HER. LIKE A WEIGHT HAD BEEN LIFTED FROM ME. I TOLD HER I’D OFFERED TO HELP CAROL ANNE WITH COLLEGE, AND WE’RE ALSO TALKING ABOUT ME POSSIBLY TAKING ON A KINDA DUAL ROLE WITH CAROL ANNE, SO WE’D BOTH BE LEADING THE SYSTEM, NOT JUST HER ON HER OWN. DR BARRY SEEMED TO THINK THAT WAS A WONDERFUL IDEA. SHE PRAISED ME AGAIN SAYING I’D REALLY COME VERY FAR IN THE PAST YEAR, WHERE AS BEFORE I’D REACT FIRST THINK LATER, NOW I’M STARTING TO THINK FIRST REACT SECOND. ITS FUNNY TO DO THINGS IN THAT WAY WHEN I NEVER DID BEFORE. BUT IT ALLOWS ME TO STAY OUT OF TROUBLE AND STUFF SO THAT IS A POSITIVE. I TOLD DR BARRY I’D DONE THE OBSERVING AND DESCRIBING EMOTIONS WORKSHEET AND FOUND THAT BENEFICIAL. I ALSO TOLD HER I HAD INTENSE URGES TO SELF HARM WHEN I WAS TRIGGERED LAST WEEK BUT I DIDNT DO IT INSTEAD I USED MY COPING SKILLS. VERY PROUD OF MYSELF FOR USING MY SKILLS. I’M GLAD I MANAGED TO TALK TO HER AND I DIDNT END UP SAYING NOTHING. NOW SHE KNOWS, SHE’LL BE MORE AWARE THAT THINGS LIKE POSITIVE COMMENTS COMPLIMENTS TRIGGER ME.
LIZ

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