Todays appointments with both Karen R and Dr Barry

I went this afternoon to meet Karen R, who used to be dr Barrys social worker, but who is now team leader. She still does some social work though, but mostly when people are in patients in the hospital. She kept one or two of her former clients when she changed positions, and luckily we were one of the people she kept as a client. Today we met up to talk about the funding for transportation, and also I had recently applied to the same organisation who fund my transportation for some extra hours for an aid to help me with housework etc. So we had to discuss the logistics of all that. Karen asked me what I wanted to use the hours for if I got them, as the case manager in the organisation who is going to provide the funding wanted to know. I said I’d like to get some extra help around my house, with coleaning, as having a dog who sheds hair a lot its near impossible to keep the place clean unless its vacumed almost every day. So there is that. Then I also told Karen I wanted to join spinning classes and need a ride to get there so the aid could help with that too possibly. So she wrote those things down and she’s going to send an email back to my case manager about it. We also talked about the ongoing appointments that I have, as the case manager had said if the organisation had a clear schedule of when I needed taxi’s they could reinstate my funding for them. So we figured that I need them for my appointments weekly with Dr Barry and Karen O the nutritionist, and once a month for my appointment with Mark the OT. We also put in that I may use them to go to the basement club but that it wont be that regularly once college starts up. We didnt want to leave it out of the costs though as then I’d never be able to go unless I payed my own taxi fare. Karen said that she’s going to send another email with this info to the case manager, and in the email she’s going to tell him that she’s happy to write to him once a month with the journeys I’ve taken, so that he has a record of how often I am using the taxi’s, so its on file. I was happy with this idea and I think its a good idea and I hope he will too.
After the appointment with Karen I saw Dr Barry. A lot of our appointment was taken up with me telling her about the stress of last week, when I came in she said she’d been reading my notes and saw all what took place about the funding for taxi’s, and the school stuff. I told her I never ever want to go through that level of stress again. I told her my mom had been an invaluable support to me during last weeks crisis. She noted that my mom and I seem to be getting along much better nowadays than say a year ago. She said she noticed how our relationship has changed. I agreed. In the past year mom and us have gotten along far better than we’ve ever done in the past. We talk more, do things together more, she’s more of a support to me in so many ways. We have a much better mother daughter relationship. Whereas before she got on well with my sister and not so much with me, that dynamic has changed and I am so thankful for that. Dr Barry asked me if I was excited about starting school. I was like yep I cant wait. I talked to her about Mondays therapy session. I told her we’d worked with some triggered parts around triggers surrounding school and their anxiety around that. She thought that it was great that we’d spent time working with these triggered parts. She said that even with the stress of last week, that it shows a great level of healing that I went to therapy on Monday and spent the majority of the time working with the triggers and triggered insiders. Of course we did talk about the stress of last week but the whole session wasnt spent on that. She kept saying to me how resourceful I am and how she knows Eileen says this all the time, and she is just echoing eileen on that. She said I have huge potential and am really intelligent and that will stand to me. I told her I was a little worried too about starting and it not working out due to past experiences in education where it didnt work out for me. I told her my mom is kinda pressuring me to do well, and for things to work out. How she is saying I need to grab this opportunity, see it through, live my olife. I told her my mom doesnt have words for a lot of things but she uses phrases like its your life, your getting older not younger, you need to take this opportunity and see it through to tell me how she feels. She doesnt have words for the issues surrounding my mental illness. But the other day she did say to me that I was doing really well with all of my issues. That was her way of saying I am proud of you without actually saying it to me. I told Dr Barry that there is no way I could sit at home doing nothing all day every day. She agreed that this would not be a good idea so she was glad the school situation worked out for me. I told her I dont care what mental illness I have, I am determined and I will not let it beat me. She said I was really high functioning and that made me so proud. I work so hard to be high functioning and not let my mental illness drag me down. Dr Barry said that I am more than my illness. My mom thinks so too but she just doesnt have the words to say it in the same way Dr Barry does. Today Dr Barry said to me what my mom is trying to say is I am more than being unwell, I am more than my hospitalisations etc. I told Dr Barry that I am grateful every day for my whole team. They keep me ticking over, stable, because of them I can lead a very full and rich life. If I did not have the weekly support from both Dr Barry and Eileen I may be in a different position. I said I know that most service users dont get the same level of support that I do and I know how incredibly lucky I am. In a way my diagnosis of did as complex as it is allows me to have the extra support. For that I will always be grateful. Allie wanted to have a little time to talk to Dr Barry today but we ran out of time so it will have to wait until next week. I did tell her how Eileen had read the in my heart book to the kids on Monday. I didnt go into too much detail as I wanted to let allie tell her herself. It was a great appointment, very productive as always.

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