Therapy was an emotional roller coaster yesterday

Yesterday we had a tough therapy session. We were feeling very emotional during most of it. It happened that Eileens mom became ill yesterday morning, so at the last minute Eileen had to cancel so she could take her mom to the doctor. She said she’d call us back later in the day to reschedule, and true to her word she did and we saw her at 4 PM.
She was asking me what was with me and how I was doing but I couldnt quite get my words together to talk. I just kept dissociating and spacing out.
Eventually Liz said she wanted some time to talk. So Liz came out then and I stepped back, but I was able to listen to what was being said from inside. Liz is really depressed. She told Eileen she doesnt care about anything. That she feels like there is a huge weight dragging her down. Eileen could feel it too, and she said she felt really lethargic and sleepy all of a sudden, and that she felt like there was a sorta disconnect between us.
She sat directly infront of us so she could look at us and her and Liz kept on talking. Liz said she felt like she was going to burst into tears, and Eileen sais it was ok to do that, but Liz wouldnt. Eileen kept asking her what she thought would happen if she allowed herself to get emotional. But Liz was very unresponsive.
She told Eileen about the dream we’d had. And how we’d argued in the dream, and eileen asked if in the dream Liz was angry at her, but Liz said no, you were angry at us. Eileen thought that was very strange. She asked Liz if she thought she’d get angry at us if we got emotional, but Liz said no.
We were going to work with the pulsers but Eileen had left them somewhere when she’d last used them outside of her office, so instead she had us cross our arms over our chest, in a hugging manner, and do a tapping exercise to bring up the feelings of sadness that Liz was feeling.
We never did cry. We came really close a couple of times. But we were just unable to allow it to happen.
Eileen walked us around the room to help us to come back into our body. She said she noticed that we were really really dissociative and she kept asking which part felt that way, why they were feeling like that, what they were trying to block etc. It was a very tough session.
I felt like we did not get a lot accomplished in yesterdays session. It wasnt like our usual sessions where we talk freely. Its not because we dont trust her, we most definitely do. It was just that we were feeling very intense emotions and were just scared of what that meant for us.

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