SELF HARM Q AND A

THIS IS LIZ. I WROTE HERE LAST WEEK REMEMBER? I AM AN ALTER IN OUR DID SYSTEM. I STRUGGLE WITH SELF HARM, SO I THOUGHT I’D WRITE A LITTLE MORE ON THAT. I GOT THESE QUESTIONS FROM A WORKSHEET AND SO I THOUGHT I’D ANSWER THEM ON HERE. SO HERE GOES.

1. Why do I feel I need to hurt myself?

I FEEL I DESERVE IT, I FEEL WORTHLESS AND LIKE I HAVE TO CUT TO PROVE I AM REAL, TO PROVE THAT I AM ACTUALLY A PERSON WHO HAS EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS.

2. What has brought me to this point?

STRESS, FLASHBACKS, HEARING VOICES, GRIEF

3. Have I been here before?

YES LOTS OF TIMES

4. What did I do to deal with it?

TRIED TO USE MY COPING SKILLS, JOURNALED, PETTED MY DOG, CUT WHEN I COULDNT RESIST, WENT TO THE HOSPITAL, CALLED MY FRIENDS OR THERAPIST

5. How did I feel then?

TRAPPED, STRESSED, OUT OF CONTROL, UNHAPPY, EMPTY, EMOTIONAL, NUMB, ANGRY

6. What I have done to ease this discomfort so far?

BLOGGED, CALLED A FRIEND, EMAILED MY THERAPIST, ATE SOME FOOD, TOOK A BATH, DRANK A COLD DRINK, LISTENED TO A BOOK, TRIED TO RELAX WITH MUSIC AND DEEP BREATHING

7. What else can I do that won’t hurt me?

DO EMAIL, TAKE SOME MEDS, LISTEN TO A PODCAST, WRITE A POEM, MAKE A YOUTUBE VIDEO, TRY TO SLEEP…

8. How do I feel right now?

RIGHT NOW? HMMMM, ANXIOUS, TIRED, STRESSED, FRUSTRATED

9.

How will I feel when I am hurting myself? (If you decide to answer this question please put it in a hide box as content maybe triggering)

I WILL FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF. I WILL FEEL IN CONTROL. I WILL FEEL NOTICED, AND LIKE I AM A SOMEBODY

10. How will I feel after hurting myself?

LIKE SHIT PROBABLY

11. How will I feel tomorrow morning?

BETTER THAN I DID TODAY I HOPE. LESS ANGRY OR FRUSTRATED. MORE IN CONTROL I HOPE.

12. Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?

I CANT AVOID GRIEF STRESS ANGER…THEY ARE ALL PART OF LIFE, SO THE ANSWER IS SIMPLY NO. JUST GOT TO TRY MY BEST TO DEAL WITH WHAT LIFE THROWS AT ME.

13. Do I need to hurt myself?

IM NOT SURE. PART OF ME WANTS TO SAY YES. PART OF ME DOESNT. SO FOR NOW I CHOOSE NOT TO HURT MYSELF. I CHOOSE TO DISTRACT AND USE MY COPING SKILLS INSTEAD. I WONT SAY NEVER THOUGH, AS MY FEELINGS CHANGE FROM HOUR TO HOUR ON WHAT I WANT TO DO OR WHETHER I SHOULD DO IT OR NOT.

WELL THIS WAS A GOOD EXERCISE AND I AM GLAD I DECIDED TO TRY IT OUT.

LIZ

3 thoughts on “SELF HARM Q AND A”

  1. That was an excellent exercise and made me see things that I have never considered before.
    Liz, I hope before you need you feel to cut yourself to be in control, you remember how crappy you feel soon after and decide not to do it at all 🙂
    And I have a question. I HATE pain… I feel I can’t breathe when I’m in pain. When you cut yourself, do you feel the pain? Isn’t that an awful feeling?

    And, I don’t think you deserve it… ever 🙂
    hugs!

    1. YES I FEEL IT, BUT I NEED TO FEEL PAIN, BECAUSE MOST OF THE TIME I DONT FEEL AT ALL! OR IF I DO, ITS ANGER, RAGE, SO FEELING SOMETHING TANGIBLE HELPS SOMETIMES…

Leave us your thoughts, we'd love to hear them!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s