Just got home from seeing Karen our nutritionist. And I must say I’m not a happy camper today. I was weighed and I am up 2 pounds. So not only did I not lose any weight, but I gained 2 pounds which is not good. I do know where the problem is though which is good I guess. I didn’t exercise very much this week, only managing to get up on my treadmill twice and only for 10 minutes each time. I’m determined that this week I’ll do much better. I’m going to try to achieve my goals, which are to exercise for 15 minutes every day, to drink more water, eat breakfast every day, and cut down on my intake of bread. Hopefully I’ll manage to achieve them and do better than I have been doing. Its such a battle this losing weight. We talked today about motivation, and about how I could better motivate myself. We talked about making losing weight more exciting or fun, for example collecting recipes for smoothies, or food I can make that is low fat. Also we talked about doing something rewarding for myself every day if I did good on that given day, for example, reading for half an hour, listening to my favourite music, phoning a friend etc. I said I’d leave the bigger rewards like buying myself something, or doing something like a spa day or having a facial until I actually achieved something, like losing a certain amount of weight etc etc. I almost cried when she said I’d gained 2 pounds. All of my ED thoughts and things came flooding back to me and I was reminded how much I actually do struggle with anything thats related to food. She was nice about it though she didn’t lecture me or say I did really bad. She just said that hopefully next week would be better for me and I’d fulfil my goals. I seriously hope so as I feel right now I’m wasting her time.