I am more than my trauma!

We went to therapy today. It was an interesting session. We ended up doing EMDR.
During the EMDR, Eileen asked us to think of a time in our life when we were really present, really focused, and really grounded. At first I couldn’t think of anything. I found it really hard to think. But then it hit me.
When I was in college, learning, and doing work, I was grounded, present. I love learning. I love being busy. Give me a project to focus on and everything else disappears.
In that moment, I said to Eileen…I am more than my trauma. Yes, she said, you are. Sometimes its hard for me to believe that I am actually more than my trauma. I feel like my trauma defines me.
But today I figured out there is more depth to me, more parts to me that aren’t traumatised. I am not just my trauma, and my trauma doesn’t define who i am as a person.
That was a really big realisation to have. But a good realisation to have. I needed to hear that today.
Eileen said I am a resourceful, compassionate, know how to get my needs met kind of person. And I guess she’s right, I am.
She asked me to let the rest of the system feel what I was feeling, so I did. I told them to breathe into it. And they all did. And they all or those of them who understood it felt really good about it.
I said to Eileen, I didn’t know how we actually survived everything, without breaking. She said its our indomidible spirit, that we are all born to try to do our best, no matter what. We’re not born to give up. We just keep trying, and that is what I and we did.
It was a good session though. I got lots out of it.
carol anne

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