is anybody out there?

If your easily triggered skip this post. Its just some about my ongoing struggle at this time of the year.

I sware…im in turmoil. I cant handle this night. Nothing bad happened. I went to my aunts as planned. But i left early to go home. I got upset and emotional and overwhelmed and i couldn’t cope.

Im not ok. In fact im suicidal. I hurt. My body hurts. And my head..o god my head it hurts, too. Im just one massive big ball of hurt tonight.

I don’t have a plan right now. But im thinking hard about what i can do. My mind is on overdrive. Im trying distraction techniques. Im talking to my angels. Im trying to think of people who i love and who love me and care about me and don’t want me to die. But damn, its freaking hard. What if i’m a burden on the world. What if the people who say they care about me really don’t?

Is anybody out there? If you are, i could use some friends to talk to. Im reaching out. Im suicidal, low, not coping, emotional, and very stressed out. If your out there, please let me know you hear me. I’ll be forever grateful to you.
carol anne

25 thoughts on “is anybody out there?”

      1. It’s 50 and the sun is coming in and out here. I’m in a training today so it’s going by pretty fast. Glad to hear your feeling alright. I like storms but I’m weird. Stay safe ❤

  1. It’ll be okay again, when these feelings go. This too shall pass. In the meantime, how do you look after yourself and care for yourself best? What makes you feel good, feel nurtured?

    1. Wow…difficult one. What makes me feel good. Well…Nitro does. He’s amazing. He loves me no matter what. A hot shower. That also does it for me. Feeling the water on my skin just washing over me, thats bliss. Music. I love my music. Games on my iphone help distract me sometimes. Talking to friends. Talking to my angels. Relaxing in front of a good tv show. Doing meditation. All of this helps me feel nurtured. XX

  2. Carol Anne,
    I’m so glad I read this post late (Monday evening) when I knew already that you were fine. 🙂
    A lot of people care about you, remember that you are not alone 🙂

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