Things our abuse culture doesnt want you to know!

  • You have inherent worth. You don’t have to do anything to prove it, just existing is enough.
  • You deserve love, support and respect all the time. Not just when you did something particularly agreeable, not just when the person is in a good mood or physically and mentally well or is treated by others respectfully; you deserve to be treated well ALL THE TIME.
  • You deserve to freely express your emotions and speak your own realities without fear of retaliation or shame.
  • You deserve to be able to tell someone why you don’t like how they’re treating you and a) not fear retaliation, intimidation, violence or emotional manipulation because of it, and b) actually have that person listen, take it to heart, and then change their behavior accordingly.
  • You deserve autonomy over yourself. You deserve to think, feel, say, wear, do, and associate with what or whomever you want without any outside pressure or control. [Clearly you aren’t free to infring on the rights of others or treat
    them oppressively, but pretty much everything else is up to you and your best
    judgement.]
  • You deserve to put yourself first. You deserve to have your life be about you. Everyone else can come after.
  • You deserve space when you need space.
  • You deserve to reach out to whoever you want for support.
  • Your emotions and experiences are valid.
  • You are important.
  • You deserve to defend yourself and fight tooth and nail to ensure that the above points are acknowledged and respected.
  • You deserve to to have your body, identity, beliefs, history, heritage, community and individual struggles respected by default. You deserve to never have to defend, apologize for, or hide who and what you are, what your body looks like or what you believe in. [The exception is if any of that is oppressive to others.
    Whiteness as a construct and white supremacy are not cultures, they are
    bigotry, hatred and oppression and those things do not deserve respect.]
  • You deserve complete control over who you associate with. You deserve to cut off communication with anyone if you feel that is the healthiest decision for you. You don’t need to justify that decision to anyone but yourself.
  • You deserve complete control over what information you choose to disclose to others about your body, your history, and your identities. You can be out if you want, you can be closeted if you want. You don’t owe anyone anything and you’re allowed to withhold any and all information about yourself that you’re uncomfortable sharing or that may put you at risk or in danger. [The exception to this is if
    withholding information that could have a direct impact on others, for
    example, not telling a potential sexual partner about your STD status. If it
    doesn’t affect them, it isn’t any of their business and you deserve to keep it
    to yourself if you want without fear of retaliation, guilt or shame.]
  • You are perfect exactly the way you are.
  • You deserve to survive. No matter how many times you may have fucked up in the past, or how “worthless” this oppressive society may tell you you are, you have infinite value by default, you have the right to choose how to live your life, and you deserve to live and be happy.

2 thoughts on “Things our abuse culture doesnt want you to know!”

  1. This is an excellent post!!! I find it interesting as the very first principle of my religion (Unitarian Universalism) is the belief in the INHERENT worth and dignity of *everyone*, regardless of (mis)deeds.

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